


Worth Fighting For

by orphan_account



Category: Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Alternate Universe - Allegiant (Divergent Series) Never Happened, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, F/M, POV Eric (Divergent), POV Female Character, POV Third Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He was ruthless, cunning and completely committed to protecting his city but her arrival to Dauntless called everything he ever thought he believed into question. Duty and following orders were no longer enough. They both found more than they ever thought possible. They both found something worth fighting for. Eric/OC AU M Tragedy/Romance (Smut, Fluff, Language) Slow Burn. **********Under edit and rewrite and posted under new title - Redux: Worth Fighting For**********





	1. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note:**

> **********Under edit and rewrite, willing orphaning to repost**********
> 
>  

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stage is set for the story of Eric Coulter and Kat Prior and the world that they live in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: (12/28/18) This story is currently being edited and updated. The story, on the whole, will remain the same. I am hoping that the edit will take care of some issues that have been on my mind and bothering me but for one reason or another was not able to change before posting or didn't catch until after posting to the site. These changes will mostly be for the purpose of clarity of the vision I had for the story and establishment of the characters. There are some additions that I hope will add to the story and that you will all enjoy. I can admit that some of these changes have come about from various feedback I have received on the story. (Reviews really don't disappear into anonymous voids as soon as they are entered.)

__

* * *

**He was ruthless, cunning, and completely committed to protecting his city; but her arrival to Dauntless called everything he ever thought he believed into question. She was haunted by a past she vowed to make amends for and resolved to sacrifice her very life it meant she could protect her family, faction, and city. Duty and following orders were no longer enough and they both found more than they ever hoped for. They both found something worth fighting for. Eric/OC AU M Tragedy/Romance**

* * *

**The Choosing age has changed twice since Eric and Four joined Dauntless at sixteen. First, it went to eighteen and then two years before our story starts it was changed yet again by the orders of Marcus Eaton to the age of twenty. Eric and Four have been members of Dauntless for over eight years at the start of the story. The last two years before choosing the dependents were kept to doing faction-oriented duties.**

* * *

**Eric Coulter: 24, Dauntless Leader, transferred from Erudite at 16. (Jai Courtney-original cast member)**

**Kat Prior, 20, Initiate, transferred from Abnegation at 20 (Chloe Grace Moretz)**

**Chase Oldham, 24, Dauntless Training Instructor/Intel Ops Officer, transferred from Candor at 16 (Liam Hemsworth)**

**Tris Prior, 20 (almost 21), Initiate, transferred from Abnegation at 20 (Shailene Woodley-original cast member)**

**Tobias 'Four' Eaton, 24, Dauntless Instructor/Control Room Officer, transferred from Abnegation at 16 (Theo James- original cast member)**

**Zach Godfrey, 25, Dauntless Legal Liaison Officer, transferred from Candor at 16 (Aaron Taylor-Johnson)**

**Zeke Pedrad, 24, Dauntless Intel/Control Ops Officer, Dauntless-born had choosing at 16 (Charles Michael Davis)**

**Uriah Pedrad, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Keiynan Lonsdale - original cast member)**

**Marlene Banks, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Suki Waterhouse-original cast member)**

**Lynn Morrison, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Rosa Salazar-original cast member)**

**Max Cornell, 48, Dauntless Senior Leader, Dauntless-born, had choosing at 16 (Idris Elba)**

**Christina Stevenson, 20, Initiate, transferred from Candor at 20 (Zoe Kravitz -original cast member)**

**Will Madsen, 20, Initiate, transferred from Erudite at 20, (Ben Lloyd-Hughes-original cast member)**

**Tori, 32, Dauntless Tattoo Artist, transferred from Erudite at 16 (Maggie Q-original cast member)**

**Bud, 44, Tattoo Shop Owner/Artist, Dauntless-born, choosing at 16 (Sebastian Roche)**

**Raze, 45, Dauntless Leader, Dauntless-born, had choosing at 16 (Michael Jai White)**

* * *

**_So hard to let go_ **

**_And I still hear the sound_ **

**_Of your voice singin' in my head_ **

**_I can't surrender_ **

**_'Cause the ropes slowly coming apart_ **

**_But hangin' by a thread_ **

**_It's gone on_ **

**_For too long_ **

**_And this is it_ **

**_So take a look into my eyes one last time_ **

**_So we never forget_ **

**_The way we were before_ **

**_When we came alive at the moment we met_ **

**_This is still worth fighting_ **

**_Still worth fighting for_ **

**_A glass that's half empty_ **

**_Won't wash away the mistakes_ **

**_It only makes a mess_ **

**_It's worth defending_ **

**_A tiny glimpse it would take_ **

**_To make us better yet_ **

**_It's gone on_ **

**_For too long_ **

**_And this is it_ **

**_So take a look into my eyes one last time_ **

**_So we never forget_ **

**_The way we were before_ **

**_When we came alive at the moment we met_ **

**_This is still worth fighting for_ **

**_A love that wants to live_ **

**_I'll give you all I've got to give_ **

**_So let's try one last time_ **

**_So we never forget_ **

**_This is still worth fighting_ **

**_Still worth fight for_ **

**_Now that we know just who we are_ **

**_Now that we've finally come this far_ **

**_I'm ready for one more battle scar_ **

**_'Cause this is still worth fighting for_ **

_**[Still Worth Fighting For; My Darkest Days]** _

 


	2. Reflections of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go back in time to see how it all began. Choosing Day is upon us. Beatrice and Mary Katherine arrive in Dauntless, two female Abnegation transfers that plant the seeds of change from the moment they land on that roof.

**Chapter 2- Reflections Of Time**

 

 

_ Eric-Choosing Day:    Roughly one year ago _

 

 

Whispers of silk moving against silk. Muffled gasps and moans. Flashes of delectable skin, so close and charged with a heat that called to me. These sensory images haunted me through my nights, leaving me in a tangled mess of my own making in bed. The space beside me remained cold but in those dreams, it burned with the heat of passion. A passion I could never imagine existed and if ever asked would deny I would even want. Because what those images, those nightmares I was coming to call them, brought forth in me was a terrible burning in my soul and heart. A feeling of being so complete and of such rapture that the cold light of day left me a broken husk of a man.

 

Very few, two to be exact, had ever seen me any other way than the face I presented to all others at all times. Lately though, even they don’t get to see any semblance of the man behind the mask because that mask is slowly seeping into every part of me.

 

At twenty-four years old I felt a man of eighty. The weight of a faction, no an entire fucking city, seems to be pressing down on me. Now I know why Max was reluctant to make me leader even with pressure from Jeanine. He had needed to know I wasn’t in it just for Jeanine because if I was then this pressure would make me snap. It would break me. It is trying to break me and it scares the shit out of me every day how close it is coming to doing just that.

 

The screeching of the digital alarm clock on my bedside table alerts me that I need to get my butt in gear and get ready to face another day. One of the worst days of my year was about to start and I needed the coffee to be able to deal with this. So, I began my day with a cup of coffee in my apartment, then went to the meetings that would take up most of the morning before the new initiates arrived. It messed up my normal routine so that was another reason to add to my foul mood.

 

Chase slid a breakfast sandwich across to me when he took his place at the conference table. “Zach put a couple of these together for us this morning since we couldn’t do the normal thing.” He mumbled around a large bite he had just taken of his own.

 

“Thanks.” I nodded and took a bite while looking over notes and waiting for the meeting to start. Lauren breezed in, late, as usual, causing all of us to scowl but Chase even more since he was the one stuck with her for training the Dauntless-born.

 

It was the same shit from every year although there were some new rules that were being implemented. Cuts were being made, steep cuts. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as Four spoke up about his displeasure in regards to the cuts and fighting changes. He kept shooting glares at me, as always pinning all this shit on me. Never mind there were four other leaders sitting around this table that were just as responsible for passing the new rules and Max the senior leader that had final say.

 

Chase shot me a look telling me to keep it cool as I looked away and clenched my fists on the table. You would think after close to eight years of having to deal with each other we could move past old shit but that wasn’t going to happen with me and Four. At times I wish with all my being that I had been able to prove my suspicions about him. Get him out of the picture altogether.

 

With a sigh, I crack my neck and focus back on the meeting. It was going to be a long hour until the meeting broke and we could all finally head to greet the new blood.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The four or five Dauntless members that stood on the roof waiting for the train took bets on what kind of mix we would see in the initiates this year. We tossed around predictions on what faction the first jumper would be from and what faction would likely be the last jumper.

 

The Choosing Ceremony had been over for a while now but it took a good hour for the train to make its way to the jumping point. Max had called that it should be appearing within the next five minutes or so.

 

Max was handling greeting initiates this year. He decided this because two years ago before the choosing age changed once more from eighteen to twenty, I had lost patience after no one had volunteered. I had just decided to toss the first person near me over the ledge. While it had been amusing and we were looking to inspire a little fear in the initiates, that apparently wasn’t exactly the fear the other leaders had been looking for. It had felt fantastic for all of three minutes and then it felt just as hollow as everything else felt to me lately.

 

I was glad to hand that particular duty over to him. I had enough on my plate to deal with between being in charge of overseeing training as well as the multitude of meetings I have to attend normally. Not to mention that I am expected to just drop everything and go running to Matthews when she quirks her finger for us too. It was exhausting, annoying and my mood that wasn’t great in the best of times was anything but mellow these days.

 

“Train is approaching!” Someone called out and Chase nudged me.

 

“Remember the bet. The first jumper is going to be a Candor this year.” Chase said firmly as he was pulling for his former faction.

 

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. It still surprised the shit out of me that I had become best friends with two former Mouth’s. Chase is the only friend other than Zach that could claim to know anything about me or see any other side of me besides what the rest of the faction and city saw.

 

“Dauntless born. It is always a Dauntless-born lately.” I said with a slight proud smirk. I had been the non-Dauntless-born first jumper and that was close to seven years ago when I transferred in at a time when the choosing age was still sixteen.

 

Chase chuckles and shakes his head at my look. Then we hear it, the train as it makes its way towards us. It slows slightly as it comes around the corner that is just before the row of roofs that are all part of the compound. It is the only concession we made here. We slowed the train enough that it gave time for all the jumpers to take their turn.

 

The first car is usually only the Dauntless members that have gone to the ceremony in either an official capacity or because they had family choosing. Some stay on the roof after they make their jump. Some of them go to the area where the net is to wait and see the initiates jump. Most of the others go on about their day or duties or start partying.

 

Dauntless-born came next, interspersed with transfers. At first, I saw the normal mix of Erudite and Candor in among the Dauntless-born. Then my eye was caught by two that seemed to be in some kind of stand off.

 

What had my eyebrows in my hairline was the fact that the two involved were a Candor boy and an Abnegation girl. From the look on the Candor guys face, I was fully expecting to see a grey splatter on the ground in seconds. So I was more than taken by surprise by what happened next.

 

The Abnegation girl got a brief flash of a snarl before it turned into a wicked smile and _she_ shoved the _Candor_ from the train and to the roof. There were calls of surprise and laughter as he fell straight to the roof with surprising force and accuracy, a girly shriek tearing from him as he fell.

 

“Are you seeing this?” Chase said in gasped laughter and disbelief. Because directly after she had shoved the Mouth, she had laughed, smirked and then leaped out herself.

 

She went into a tuck and roll then popped up brushing herself off as if she had just gotten a little dust on her jacket and she hadn’t just jumped from a moving locomotive onto a seven story roof. I might have been amazed by that alone but that isn’t what held me practically spellbound at the moment. It was her face, her smile and this glow she had about her. She was stunning and I felt as if the wind was being taken from me but at the same time, life was being breathed into me.

 

She looked like no damn Abnegation I had ever seen. She might have her hair up and the grey on but it all faded away. I also couldn’t help but look at each of her features and I swear to gods she was wearing some kind of makeup, but that couldn’t be possible.

 

Chase elbows me but when I look to him, I see his own eyes are locked onto her just as much as mine had just been. That gets broken when we see a Candor girl built like an Amazon storm up to her with a scowl on her face.

 

“You could have killed him!” The Amazonian screeches out and goes to put her hands on the not so stiff, stiff. She just rolls her eyes and side steps the attack, causing the girl to stumble and trip to the ground.

 

“I could only hope to be so damn lucky.” She mutters but it isn’t quiet and wouldn’t matter if she had been because all attention seems to be on her anyways. I know all of my attention is on her. I can’t even help the smirk that tilts my lips up as Chase snorts. “And if you were observing closely, I aimed him precisely where I wanted him to hit with the perfect amount of force. Enough to make him scream like the little bitch he is but not enough to kill him.”

 

She pauses and sighs dejectedly. “I am still up in the air on whether I did him a favor or all the rest of us a disservice. Time will tell though.” With that, she shrugs as if she really was torn about her decision and moves off.

 

Another Abnegation girl had just careened to the roof, holding the hand of a Candor girl and she approached her.

 

“Are we just being fucking invaded here?” I mutter out but still can’t take my eyes off of the first girl.

 

“Mary Katherine! Did you have to push him? He wasn’t going to hurt me.” The other girl admonishes my stiff….Mary Katherine? Gods, I hate that fucking name! I smirk a little when she winces and grimaces as soon as it is uttered.

 

She brushes off the gravel of the other girls jacket, frowning at a tear and cut on her arm. “First of all, I was helping him get over his obvious feelings of inadequacy. Shown by his need to fuck with you.” She gave the other girl a pointed look before she continued. “Second of all, yes he would have. If you think different _Beatrice_ , then you are in for a world of hurt during initiation. Ask your friend here. I am sure she could tell you about the new resident dick of Dauntless.”

 

She isn’t wrong there. One look at the glare the Candor and his two friends are throwing to the girls shows they are going to be going for the weakest to make themselves look better.

 

“Last of all,” she continues in a frustrated voice that still sounds musical “please do _not_ call me by that travesty of a name. I am and have only ever responded to Kat for years now. If you are smart you will change yours too, Bea. I mean unless you just _want_ to live with an instant chastity belt tethered to you.”

 

The Candor girls mouth drops open while the other abnegation turns red and gasps. “Mary Katherine!”

 

There are sputters of laughter all over and I look over to Chase who is holding in a laugh.

 

Kat rolls her eyes and sighs. “Lighten up Bea. It was a joke...sort of.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I really do think, dear sister, our parents chose our names as an instant abstinence tactic though. Do they teach that in Abnegation initiation you think?” She assumes the normal Abnegation ‘stick up their ass’ posture and her face takes on a mask as she takes a breath. “By the way fellow Stiffs; someday you will lay with a man or a woman and produce a new little stiff. We expect you to keep the tradition of leg locking names alive.”

 

She says this all in an almost perfect imitation of the condescending tone of Marcus Eaton. Ripples of laughter make the way along the roof and while I don’t laugh, I crack the first smile I have let loose in a very, very long time it seems. I shake my head in wonder at this strange and refreshing girl while Chase is holding his stomach he is laughing so hard.

 

All laughter or chatter is cut short when there is a strangled scream followed by a more pronounced one. I know before I even look over to the Dauntless born pulling the girl from the edge what it means. I also know I am going to be the one to have to deal with it as well.

 

Max looks to both Chase and I, causing me to sigh and nod. I elbow Chase and I can’t help but notice that his eyes and head crane to get one more last look at the girl I think we both want to stay and watch. I have a duty to take care of so I can only watch as Kat had walked away from her sister to join a group of Dauntless-born who seem to know her and had been waving her over.

 

My very last look just before I went into the stairwell was of her being pulled into a hug by the three of them, one being a Pedrad. My scowl at having to leave deepened at the look of affection on Uriah Pedrad’s face before I lost sight of her completely.


	3. You Sure You're A Stiff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The welcome lunch sees Eric encountering Kat and learning more about her. Sparks fly and the mystery deepens while a stunning fact might just end things before they can ever begin.

**Chapter 3 - You sure you’re a stiff?**

 

 

It took a while to get the young Dauntless-born that hadn’t made the jump off the pavement then I had to deal with the sister and hunt down the rest of the family. Chase had taken over with Rita, the sister to the young woman that hadn’t made it. She would be given a chance to jump later during the day after she calmed down if she chooses to continue on.

 

I was late to the welcoming lunch and my mind had been split during the whole time. _‘Resident dick of Dauntless’_ , kept playing in my mind and the thought that Kat was in for a surprise if she thought the Candor transfer had anything on that title compared to me.

 

I didn’t care normally. I shouldn’t care, but for some reason, I cared very much that she was going to see me that way. That she was going to look at me with just as much fear, disgust or barely contained disdain as the other initiates from years previous. How could she not when I knew exactly how I was going to treat her and every other initiate. There could be no favorites, no slack and no weakness allowed. The odds of her coming from Abnegation and not being the weakest were very slim.

 

I shoved those thoughts aside as I made my way to the dining hall. I hadn’t even found out who jumped first or been able to see it for myself. Now I had to go find Four and pass along a message to him from Max. That just made my mood sour from the brief lift it had on the roof with Kat. The only good part of that was that I might be able to see or interact with her. When I finally did reach the table the only stiff sitting by number boy was not the one I was looking for.

 

I passed my message along as fast as I could but couldn't help taunting the stiff girl and Four at the same time. It didn’t cross my mind until after I had clapped Four on the back much harder than needed, that I didn’t count Kat in that taunt or even as a stiff. I frowned and went over to the table I knew Chase and Zach would be holding a place for me.

 

I admit I had to work to keep the surprise and pleasure from my face when I saw Kat sitting at the very same table my friends were at. She was sitting among the other Dauntless-born and members that she seemed to be acquainted with.

 

I thought she looked stunning from the distance I had kept from her on the roof but she was even more so up close. I took a seat next to Chase, who had been in mid-laugh at something that was being talked about at the table. His eyes didn’t move from her.

 

I felt a huge surge of jealousy but scolded myself. There were so many reasons why that was wrong that I couldn’t even list them all. The main ones being she was an initiate and I admit I didn’t for a second think I had a chance in hell with her. She might seem different from any other Abnegation I had ever known but there was no way coming from that faction she would ever go for a guy like me. Not that I even wanted to get involved with her in any meaningful way.

 

Even my own inner monologue was scoffing at my failed attempts to convince myself of this.

 

I started to pull food to my plate and trained my eyes on the table with the scowl feeling like it was stamped forever onto my face. I feel rather than see Chase and Zach sharing knowing looks before Chase elbows me with a smirk on his face. “We both lost, by the way.”

 

I pause in making my burger up and the scowl deepens even more as a rage starts to light in my eyes. His smirk and looks to Kat have me thinking he is talking about her. I was already filled with rage and jealousy over just the thought of Chase’s interest in her but I could almost stand losing her to him...maybe. In an instant, I knew I couldn't handle anyone else being in the running. They would find themselves well acquainted with the Chasm quickly.

 

“What?” I grind out as my short nails cut into my palms.

 

Chase shrugs and frowns at me. “The bet about the first jumper. We both lost.”

 

It takes a moment for that to register and the rage to subside. My scowl lessens slightly but not much. I think my face might honestly be frozen into this position. “So not a Dauntless-born or a Candor. Who was it then?”

 

Chase laughs and smirks again. “One guess.” Then he turns his head to tilt and indicate Kat, who is still sitting there in the grey clothing of Abnegation. Already little changes have taken place though. Her hair is down and she is definitely wearing makeup. She has something on her lashes that make them look absurdly thick and long. Her lips have some kind of gloss on them that just make me want to…..

 

I shake my head and breathe before I turn to Chase then smirk when his words register with me. She was my first jumper? Well, that would help her with points to start out with. Bits of conversation was now floating to me and I realize they are talking about what happened on the roof with the Candor she pushed.

 

Uriah and Zeke Pedrad were asking her questions about it all. She was in between the two of them and I suppressed my growl at that so I could listen to what they were saying.

 

“So he started going after your sister as soon as you got on the train? But not you?” Uri frowned as he asked.

 

Kat nodded as she took a sip from her cup and grimaced as she looked into it. Then she looked over to Zeke’s cup and with an impish smile, switched the two. “Thank you for the offering of your coffee. Such a gentleman.” Her tone was cheeky before she took a sip, closed her eyes and let out a sigh of pleasure.

 

Zeke was sitting there with wide confused and amused eyes. Uri laughed at his brother’s face. “I should mention that I think we made her into a coffee addict at some point over the last three years. So much so that if we didn’t show up with her a thermos before school then bad things were in the forecast.”

 

“I know you thought you were being cute by trying to give the little stiff girl enough caffeine to see if time would stop with how hyper I would become but it kind of backfired on you. Thank you for introducing me to this particular brand of ambrosia. It got me through my long days of secret training, volunteering, school, more secret training and then sleep. Rinse and repeat, and those were my days for you.” Kat shrugged and sipped more coffee before she put the cup down and picked up her burger.

 

I frowned at several things about what I was hearing so far. But how those three knew her for three years and what kind of training she had been doing were at the top of my mind right now.

 

“Back to the train. Why do you think he went after your sister and not you?” Zeke asked as he chewed his own food.

 

Kat tilted her head in thought and then shrugged. “Honestly, he probably saw her as the weaker of the two of us. She had more trouble getting onto the train then I had and he saw that. He might also have known or guessed the easiest way to get under my skin was to pick on someone weaker or my sister. He just didn’t figure that while for most people getting under their skin might result in the exchanging of words or even flustering them, I tend to not be like most people.”

 

Lynn, another Dauntless-born who I almost didn’t recognize because of her shaved head, laughs and shakes her head with a proud smile. “Ain’t that the fucking truth Kat. Your sister’s face when you made the joke about those names being chastity belts and leg lockers...fucking priceless!” She pauses takes a sip of her drink and gets a glint in her eye as she side-eyes Kat. “I almost wonder if that was the same face your mom had as she listened to the grunts and pounding coming from behind your door that day.”

 

I had been smiling, well at least my lips had a slight twitch to them in my public smile, as I was listening to everything and the reminder of her humor. That was until Lynn threw that out there and then my face went deadly. It didn’t help that I saw Chase stiffen and glare at theDauntless-born girl.

 

“What?” I barked out before I even thought about it.

 

Kat jerked a little and looked down my way. I swear I saw recognition pass over her eyes for a moment. She swallowed and her skin pinked in a blush that shouldn’t look sexy but automatically had images going through my mind.

 

Chase sighed and elbowed me when he realized my glare was not going to lessen until I got an answer. “Kat this is…”

 

He didn’t get to finish because she interrupted him. “Eric Coulter, Second in Command to Senior Leader Max Cornell. Yes sir. I recognize you from the council meetings I attended in the past.” She nodded respectfully to me and my glare lessened slightly.

 

Pleasure flooded me that she not only knew me but was showing me respect. Real respect and not the fear that had her friends as well as the others at the table holding their breaths and tensed. Waiting to see what I would do or say to her. I wouldn’t and couldn’t let any type of hope through that it would continue but I could enjoy this singular moment.

 

I nodded back to her but I didn't lessen the glare anymore. The need to know what the hell she had been doing behind her closed door and praying it was not what I think it was...had a hold of me. Lord help this table if it was. “Kat. Please...don’t let me interrupt your story.” I motion with my head pointedly for her to go ahead.

 

She flushes even more, turning her ears red as she shoots a glare to her friend. Lynn gives her a slight sheepish look and shrugs. “Well, it isn’t what I am sure Lynn was meaning it to sound like and what I am sure what my mother thought it was as she stood outside of the door. In fact I am pretty sure she was expecting to walk in and catch me in flagrante delicto….”

 

“What the fuck is that?” Uri bursts out with his forehead scrunched up in a scowl.

 

I quirk an eyebrow at her even knowing the words and meaning but Zeke snorts and interrupts me about to inform the young Pedrad what it meant. “Come on brother. I know you don’t have much of it up there but you do at least have some brains. What is she talking about?”

 

“Sex. But what does that have to do with…” He trails off and you can see the lightbulb go off behind his eyes lighting up and his smile. “Oh, I get it.”

 

Everyone had started laughing and Kat shakes her head, laughing but still red. “I doubt you do get the full meaning but you understand enough about it. To help you out though one of the definitions is that you are caught in the act.” She shrugs off the snorts of laughter and continues on. “Anyways, her face was pretty much what I think you were imagining Lynn. When she saw what I was doing though; I don’t know that she knew which would have been worse. What she thought I was doing or what I was actually doing.”

 

“So what the hell were you doing?” Chase huffed and threw out in a frustrated tone, clearly not being able to stand anymore of not knowing as much as I was feeling.

 

Kat had just taken a bite of her burger and her other friend Marlene laughed and answered for her. “She had made a punching bag from her mattress, tape and blankets. Then she found a way to hang it from the ceiling in her room. I think your mom was supposed to be out or something and that’s why you were doing it in the middle of the day right?”

 

Kat swallowed and grinned in a way I was coming to love. It felt like there was a small piece of the sun shining in the smile. “Yeah. My parents had always been pretty great about giving us privacy. So while I had the thing hanging up forever and no one ever saw it, I couldn’t exactly wail on it while they were home. I thought she would be out volunteering for a while and was looking forward to getting a good hour or so in. It was kind of funny because she didn’t say a word. She just stared at me as I stood there all sweaty and chest heaving from having been in mid stream of my form. Then she wiped all emotion from her face, turned and walked out of the door.”

 

Uri smirked and shook his head. “You know when you told us that I had always wondered one thing Kat. I never asked but if that was your mattress and blankets, then what the hell did you sleep on?”

 

Both the Dauntless born girl friends exchanged relieved looks, as if this was something that had been on their minds and they had worried about as well. I tensed and had to breathe slowly because I think I knew the answer. I also had thoughts of Marcus Eaton with his treatment of his son flashing in my mind and I was already feeling anger. Anger I didn’t even know if I should be feeling. What was going on with me and this girl?

 

Kat shrugged casually. “Well, I couldn’t exactly go to my parents and say; ‘Hey I need a new mattress and blankets since I am using mine to secretly train to fight’. I made the choice and sacrifice knowing what I would have to do. I slept on the floor or when it was cold the bathtub. I could go to Tris’ room and sleep with her as well on really cold nights but I couldn’t do that often or she would question things. That was before mom saw what I was doing though. She never said a word and I never did either, but the next day there was a mattress on my bed with two blankets.”

 

I quirked an eyebrow in surprise and tilted my head. “Was the….punching bag...still there?” I was chuckling at the image of a cobbled together punching bag. I was already impressed with her attitude and sense of humor. Now her dedication was impressing me too.

 

She looked over to me and nodded but our eyes held for longer than necessary and she blushed a little before she answered. “Yes, Sir. I think she might have been positive I would just make another and she wouldn’t have been wrong. I would have.”

 

The entire time our eyes held each others. I smirked, not only at her answer, but also at her reaction to me. It was small but it was there. I nodded curtly and wiped the smirk from my face as I looked back to my food and went back to eating.

 

During the time I had been taking care of the Dauntless born girl who had not made it,  I had entertained a few thoughts. Thoughts of making Kat a conquest. Satisfying the need that bloomed when she set foot on the roof and then moving on. Thinking and telling myself as a means of justification that it would be the perfect way to stick it to Four. To seduce one of his precious little stiffs. Something to taunt him or torture him with before I finally made a move in. It was brief because even before I sat down I knew she wasn’t in that realm of being a conquest, not for me. Now she was going so far out of it that I knew I couldn’t act on anything. I shouldn’t act on it. I wouldn’t act on it.

 

My hand clenched around my cup as I saw Chase watching Kat again. I knew that I wouldn’t stand by and watch my best friend be able to either. We would need to have a conversation about this.

 

The rest of lunch I listened to the new initiates talking together along with the other members. I listened as Zach and Chase joined in and watched how much attention Chase was giving her. I am sure he couldn’t miss how much attention I was paying to her as well even if I was more subtle about it. He looked over to me and nodded, knowing we would need to have a conversation soon.

 

“I wish you could stay in the dorm with us.” Marlene lamented as she stabbed a fork into her cake.

 

Kat licked her lips to get the little bit of frosting that was on her lip and shrugged. That innocent little move, her tongue darting out and flicking her ridiculously natural looking pouty lips, had me hard in an instant.

 

Chase groaned a little beside me but I kept mine in, thankfully. A few minutes later I notice that one minute she was relaxed and enjoying her cake and the next she went utterly tensed.

 

I frowned as I watched her put her hands on the table, clenched. Four was standing at the end of the table and for the briefest of moments, his eyes went to Kat, his lips thinned. Then he looked to Zeke. “Chase I am going to need Zeke for some programming issues. Zeke, I need your help in control. There are some systems that need reports run on some coding but I have the initiates to take to the dorms and give them the rundown on the rules.”

 

His voice wasn’t as bland as it normally was. It was tired and wary almost. I also couldn’t help but notice that the tension in Kat’s shoulder’s increased and Four’s frown deepened at his words.

 

My jaw clenched and my own lips thinned. There was something going on between these two. “I can take the initiates to the dorm and give them the rules. You go handle the systems that need to be fixed.” My tone plainly let him know that I would have no argument and my eyes were deadly cold as I fixed them on Four.

 

Four rocked a little on his feet and he looked to Kat, not me. When I looked over to Kat I saw an expression of relief. Four glared at me for a moment. “Fine.” Then he looked back to her. “Kat, you might want to join your sis….” he stopped and I know he had to realize his tone was bordering on personal, more familiar than he should have been with a new initiate. “Join the other initiates at the table soon. It will be good to get to know those you will be training with the most.”

 

Kat moves cold eyes over to Four and had from the moment he had started to talk to her. I could tell she didn’t like his tone one bit. “I appreciate the suggestion…. _Sir_. I will take that under advisement but I believe that the nine hours I will be spending with them will be more than they could handle of me. Based on the range of stupidity that will be gathered around me I am sure breaking them in slowly might be the best approach here.”

 

Mar, Lynn and Uri all snickered until Four shot a glare that silenced them. Zeke coughed and stood with a smile, obviously trying not to laugh as he shook his head. “Come on Four. I will see what I can do to help fix whatever mess they made in there.”

 

Zeke clapped a hand on Four’s shoulder and gave him no choice but to go. Probably trying to head off the storm that was about to erupt with the way Four and I were glaring at each other. I could just feel the rage that I had been doing so well in suppressing at the meeting earlier at him build by the second at his familiar tone and looks to Kat.

 

When they had gone, she relaxed and I heard her let out a little breath. I couldn’t do the same because the question of how they knew each other and if they had been involved or are involved was running through my mind.

 

Chase tilted his head and asked the question we were both wondering. “Do you know Four?”

 

Kat hesitated before she answered and cast a sideways look at Chase as she shook her head. “I can honestly say that I do not know Four.”

 

Zach shrugged and smiled. “Usually all the new female initiates are all moony eyed over him.”

 

He isn’t wrong but he is also trying to test the waters as well on what she thinks of him in that arena. Her answer about not knowing Four doesn’t satisfy me. I can’t help but think that it was part truth and part evasion.

 

Kat choked on her bite of food and sat gasping as she hit her chest in laughter and I am guessing trying to get the food down her windpipe. Tears were in her eyes in reaction to Zach’s words. Lynn was pounding her back and frowning at her. Kat shrugged off her help and took a sip out of her cup. When she finally cleared her throat she was still laughing.

 

Chase, Zach, Uri and several others as well as myself had looks of confusion going on. Trying to figure out what the hell was so funny about Zach’s statement.

 

I can admit, her reaction brought on relief and amusement of my own. “Something funny about that?” I asked and the amusement came through even if I was trying to hold it in.

 

Kat nodded with a smile still playing on her lips. “Yes sir. Pretty much everything. One, I don’t do moony eyed.” She paused for a moment and then bit her bottom lip as if in thought. “Well, I mean maybe I would if someone held my interest enough to get to that point. Second, even if I were going to go moony eyed about someone...there would be no way.” She chokes on laughter again. “I mean, I am sure he has good points and is respected….just not my type. I may not know much about what type I have but...not…”

 

She was gasping in between laughter and trying to put things into words but just couldn’t get more out.

 

Mar frowned and looked to Kat. “What’s wrong with him? I happen to think…”

 

Uri bristled and looked to Mar with a scowl. “You happen to think what?” He demanded.

 

Mar winced and shrugged. “Well, I mean he is nice looking.”

 

Kat just shrugged with a smirk on her lips. “Ok.” Then she shook her head. “If you say so. Hey, didn’t you say we have the rest of the day off after we get changed and all of that out of the way?”

 

Lynn and Mar beamed at her and nodded. “Were you going to join us or were you going to stick with your sister?”

 

Kat chewed her lip in thought and looked truly torn. She finally shook her head with a smile at her friends. “Nah, wouldn’t be good to put someone in the clinic on the first night. We will be fighting soon. That will satisfy that urge for me in due time. Besides you said something about a rock climbing wall and then there was that bad ass tattoo artist you were so kind enough to volunteer to buy me my first one from.”

 

How the hell was she able to survive in Abnegation before now? That was what I wondered as I tried not to look like I was glued to everything they were saying.

 

Lynn laughed and nodded. “Sounds good. Just remember no piercings until after fights.”

 

Kat quirked her eyebrow and gave Lynn a pointed look to her nose piercing, in a ‘are you serious’ manner. “Funny coming from you, Lynn. Maybe I will get one that can’t be easily located or exploited. Also if you go into it thinking that you are going to even let your opponent close enough to exploit something then you might as well call the match for them.”

 

“Where would you get it?” Lynn asked in a sly tone that I could tell she was using to try and embarrass her friend.

 

Kat did turn a little red but she shrugged it off. “If I get one other than my ears or nose then I would most likely go with that place that I almost ripped yours from that one time.”

 

Kat smirked at Lynn as she paled and clutched her chest. Answering the question of where the hell that had been from and had me shifting uncomfortably, again.

 

“That wasn’t funny! That hurt like a bitch and was a dirty way to break out of that hold.” Lynn said turning red and in a indignant tone.

 

Kat shrugged and didn’t look a bit ashamed. “Never said I don’t fight dirty. Too many encounters with the Factionless not to learn to fight back any way I could.” She casts a look to the table where her sister sits and looks worried for a moment. “Look, I will meet you guys at the Pit after I get changed and can make my escape. If I can drag Tris away from the Candor in a clean break I will bring her along.”

 

She said her goodbyes and moved off to be with her sister. I waited until it looked like all the transfers had eaten and were ready but also to give me time to compose myself. I still had to take them to the dorms and give them the rules.

 

 

*****Page Break*****

 

I hated the looks that the others gave Kat when I announced the cuts. They gave them to her sister too but I can admit I am dick enough that I don’t care about her sister. I care that Kat makes it. I just don’t know if she will. I can hope she will and hope that all that talk we heard at lunch is true. The thing is I haven’t had hope in a very, very long time. Just another reason I can’t let myself get involved or feel anything for her. No matter how good the part of me waking up just from being near her feels, I can’t let it happen. It will only hurt that much more when she gets cut and is just a distraction I can’t afford.

 

 

Later that night as Chase, Zach and I met in the Pit after dinner we sat around some rocks that were placed like benches. Zach had a beer waiting for me after a conference call with Jeanine and I had needed it badly. I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering over to where Kat was sitting. Watching her laughing and talking with her friends. Her sister was near and while they shared words every once in awhile it looked like the two sisters were divided on the friends they were making or had made.

 

Kat was surrounded by the Dauntless-born to the point that she even looked the part. They had apparently taken her shopping because she wasn’t in the normal clothing that we issued to the initiates to begin with. If I hadn’t seen her wearing the grey myself I would never believe she had even come from Abnegation. They had mentioned piercings and tattoos and I worked hard to keep from sauntering over and finding out for myself if she had gotten anything done.

 

Her sister on the other hand was wearing the clothing that we issued. She looked awkward in it and with the people around her, which were the other transfers. She seemed to be sticking by the Candor girl she had jumped to the roof with. On some level I could understand wanting to stick with the person you first interacted with. But a lesson I learned the hard way during my own initiation and after, was that it is better to try as early on to breach that divide from transfer to Dauntless.

 

Seeing the difference of the two gave me hope that Kat, having learned that earlier than even I had, just might have a big leg up on the others.

 

I guess we were all watching Kat and her group closely because Zach pulls me out of my thoughts when he speaks up. “It’ll be interesting to see how she does in training.” He has a slight worried frown on his face as he looks between Chase and I. I take it Chase’s eyes were just as glued to her as mine were.

 

Chase nodded with a frown, his eyes never having left the group as he sipped his beer. “We can hope she might be as good as we are thinking based on their talk at lunch.”

 

There was that hope word again. Not something I fucking dared have right now. But I nodded with a frown and let my eye appraise her in a different manner. In the way of a trainer. She wasn’t as small as her sister muscle wise. That much I could see from the clothes she was wearing. Not that they were all that revealing but they showed some of her muscle definition there. She was taller than her sister but not by much at all. All the guys in the class were at least double her size and while not as tall as I am, they all still tower over her. With the exception of the squat red head, Drew. But he is built like a bulldog, or will be when he got some fitness down.

 

I heard the talk of secret training. I heard the talk of her friends having worked with her for three years. I just didn’t know what that boiled down to as far as skill wise. One thing I had heard thrown out there by her friends when she had moved off to sit with her sister after lunch was that they were taking bets on when she would be up to train. They all agreed she would be up well before it was time but were debating just how early that would be.

 

I shouldn’t be thinking what I am thinking. I shouldn’t be thinking about arranging to be in the training room and offering to help her here and there. That was not only dangerous but was stepping way to close to the line of favoritism. I shouldn’t be thinking anything that I have been since she set foot on the roof but I can’t seem to fucking help myself.

 

There was something about her that was starting to wake things in me that I thought long dead. Something about her that drew me in. So many questions about her and how she came to be so different than any Abnegation I had ever known or seen. Even fucking number boy, the Dauntless prodigy….especially him. What was _their_ deal? I don’t believe she didn’t know him from before. Not with her reaction and his. But how and was it romantic?

 

I missed what Chase and Zach had been saying until I heard my name being mentioned.

 

“I swear she talks and even thinks like Eric does. Did you hear what she said when she pushed the Candor? That she had done it knowing where she was aiming and how much force she needed to make sure she didn’t kill him? But then in the next breath, she said she still didn’t know if she did him the favor or the rest of us the disservice. I swear I could see those words coming from Eric’s mouth.” Chase laughed into his cup and then took a drink.

 

I shrugged, smirking and not disputing it at all. They were right; I could see myself saying and doing something like that. Although I probably would have been more cruel or brutal about it. I might not have sounded as playful as she had. Something about the comparison struck a chord in me. That could be why I am so drawn to her, her intelligence but obvious guts. Then the two put together sent a chill down my spine at an altogether more unpleasant comparison. I shoved that aside in denial and took a deep drink from my cup.

 

“I just wonder how she kept all that quiet there. Especially considering who her parents are.” Zach said with a frown as he turned away from the group of initiates.

 

I tilted my head in thought because I had been wondering that but more in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

Zach shrugged. “Her and her sister are the kids of Andrew Prior. The sister is the older one but not much from what I understand, less than a year. I saw his face when first Kat chose Dauntless and then her sister. He was shocked and hurt.”

 

My blood ran cold and I had to close my eyes for a moment. I had been so preoccupied with just getting the hell away from the call Jeanine had me on I had only been half listening and taking notes. I had forgotten her mentioning the name Prior and an aptitude test that didn’t add up or brought concerns to her. Was Kat the one she had mentioned or was it going to be her sister? She hadn’t said a first name.

 

For the rest of the night, I watched Kat closely. The longer I watched her the more sure I was that she would be the one that Jeanine had mentioned I needed to keep my eye on.

 

What was I going to do if it was her?

 

Why the fuck was I asking that? I would do what I had to do. She was just an initiate and I shouldn’t and wouldn’t give a shit about her. I know my duty and if she is a threat I would eliminate her just like I had done before.

 

Inside, that part that had been waking up as well as somewhere so deep that I didn’t even know that emotion and feeling still existed in me, a bit of it died at even the thought of having to do that to her.


	4. This Is What You Came For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strained relationship between two siblings takes steps to mend while Kat spends a restless first night in the dorm. Will Kat be able to avoid the person she knows she shouldn't be drawn to at all?

**Chapter 4 - This Is  What You Came For**

** _Kat_ **

 

 

“Kat, are you still awake?” Tris’ voice called to me softly as her shadow fell over me when she came to stand beside my bed.

 

I rolled over to face her bed and frowned up at her. “Yeah, Tris. What’s up?”

 

I couldn’t see her face but I knew Tris. I knew she was chewing her lip before she answered or asked her question. “I just….I can’t sleep and I wondered….can I….”

 

I don’t let her finish as I scoot back and pull back the covers. She slips in quietly and we lay facing each other. It feels weird to be like this again. We haven’t slept in the same bed for over a year now. I know the reason why on my part and I think I know the reason on hers too. We have grown apart slightly over the years. It has hurt but I think we both felt it necessary at the time.

 

“I am sorry for getting angry with you on the train, Kat. It was stupid of me to be angry you chose Dauntless. You were always pretty obvious about it, until the last four years.” Tris said quietly and took my hand.

 

I quirked a small smile into the dark. “You got pretty good at hiding it too you know. I am sorry I have been a pain in the ass to you this last year. I just….”

 

I paused and fought back a tear at the anger I had carried around for my big sister. It had been irrational and I knew it, I just couldn’t help it. “I hated the thought of you staying and being miserable there. I was so afraid that you were going to do just that, Tris. I was afraid that you thought you needed to because you are the oldest child.”

 

I felt her nod and she was quiet for a little while. “I almost did, Kat. What the elders were saying just kept playing in my head. That as the oldest children it was our duty to remain and to care for our parents as they had cared for us in the beginning.”

 

I gritted my teeth at that and counted to keep from shouting out in anger. Fucking manipulative bastards. That was something that was being passed around after Abnegation had it’s one transfer in years eight years ago. One Tobias Eaton. His gem of a father and faction leader had so cunningly let slip that it was a shame others might suffer the fate he might one day suffer after the loss of his son.

 

I let out a slow breath and shook my head. “We both know though that Mom and Dad never believed in that. Tris...I know that Dad’s reaction was less than….perfect. I know he is hurt but…” I stop speaking because I don’t know how to say that he will get over it. That he will come to accept this in time. I don’t know how to say it because even if it is true and even though I don’t see my transfer as a betrayal; I still hurt for causing him pain.

 

“I hope he can forgive us.” Tris whispers and I know there are silent tears crawling down her face. I know because I have them as well.

 

“It would be selfish if he doesn’t and he always tries to be selfless, Tris,” I say in my most convincing voice but I don’t know if I am trying to convince her or myself more. Most likely both.

 

We don’t speak more for the rest of the night. I don’t know how she does it, because lord knows I can’t manage it, but eventually, she falls asleep.

 

I don’t know if it is because of the Candor that won’t shut his sobs up. The excitement of being in Dauntless. My worries about training and initiation. My worries about things that I can’t control but I was warned are dangerous to me. The thoughts of someone I had no business thinking about at all. I think it was a combination of all that; but sleep seems impossible for me. In the end, I dozed when there seemed to be a lull in the cries of the big Candor transfer. The last time he started up again and tossed in his bed I gave up.

 

I got out of bed as quietly as possible, dressed in the clothes I had laid out for training that day, tucked Tris into bed and made my way out of the dorm. I know at least a few people stirred or watched my progress out of the room but I didn’t bother to see who they were.

 

I had no clue what time it was and cursed myself for not picking up a watch when I had been out shopping with my friends. I had it in my head to get one but it slipped my mind when we had gotten talking to Bud at the tattoo parlor. He was funny as hell and we had spent way too long in there just shooting the shit before I got my first tattoo.

 

My hand drifted up to just below and behind my ear where I had gotten it done. It was still sore but not unbearably so. Bud had laughed his ass off when I had told him what I wanted and then had to draw it for him since describing it wasn’t working. He had asked to keep it up in case anyone else had a hankering to have a ‘brainy’ tattoo. I had drawn that and the corresponding another one I would get on the other side later. I planned on doing that one when the first stage of initiation was over.

 

I was braiding my hair when I stepped into the training room after having made my way there. Something about the quiet of the compound had me tiptoeing along. As if I was afraid the sounds that I heard were the breaths of a giant and any sound I made would wake it.

 

It was odd stepping into the cavernous training room. It was so large that I felt dwarfed in it but at the same time energized. I knew I was going to pay for this. I had to be up way earlier than even I had planned to be. I always did think better and work out my tangled thoughts when I involved myself in work of some kind. Preferably the kind that I had to put my whole body and focus into.

 

I didn’t know where the light switch to light up the entire training room was and I didn’t want to risk turning it on. There were spotlights spaced around the room. One just happened to be over a bag so I made my way to that area and warmed up first.

 

I lost myself at first in doing my cardio exercises. When I felt comfortable with the room and looking around, I began to run around the room for a solid hour. I didn’t know the time but I knew I needed to hydrate so I made my way to the dining hall and hoped I could score a bottle of water. I honestly didn’t expect to run into people but I passed a few. Some guards that looked like they were patrolling the compound and others that looked like they were starting their workday.

 

When I made my way into the dining hall I was pleased to see that not only were their water bottles but also muffins. Shrugging I grabbed one of each.

 

“Kat?” A voice called from behind me. I turned and saw Chase, one of the Dauntless members I had met yesterday, looking at me with his head tilted and a worried expression on his face.

 

I smiled at him and he gave a smile back but still looked worried. “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to get some training in.”

 

He hesitated as his eyes moved over me, then he nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I can kind of see that. Why don’t you come sit with me for a bit? I was just grabbing some coffee to get myself awake.”

 

I nod and laugh a little. I knew I would love some coffee but since I was going to be doing some more work, water was better for me at the moment. Besides I planned on getting some coffee at lunch most likely. I would need to, I am sure.

 

I sat down at the table and noticed that for the most part, the dining hall was pretty empty. I drank from my bottle of water first while he was drinking from his large cup of coffee. He gave a sigh after he got a few sips in him and I let out a laugh at that.

 

“I can relate,” I say simply with a smile and peeled the wrapper on my muffin.

 

“I heard about your addiction. I am surprised you don’t have a cup of it yourself right now.” He said with a smirk at me.

 

I shrugged and smirked back at him. “Don’t want to pass out from dehydration so sacrifices must be made. I am sure that around lunchtime I will be begging for a cup. Or an IV full of it.”

 

He let out a laugh at that and I smiled with him. Chase was handsome. Very handsome. His brown hair was short cut but slightly longer than what Abnegation men wore. It was a rich brown color that I could probably guess the tousled look wasn’t natural and he styled it. It worked on him. As did the small but well-groomed beard he had. He had ice blue eyes that lit up when he was smiling at me and made me feel comfortable with him. He was just as tall as most of the other Dauntless men. I would say at 6’ ft or over it but his build wasn’t bulky. He was long, lean and deadly looking in frame.

 

Honestly, I am stunned at how striking most of the guys I have met are. Some aren’t handsome in a conventional sense, in a pretty boy way. Some it is just their presence, the confidence they exude, that catches the attention. Last night in the Pit I saw how most of the Dauntless women were around the men. How free with affection or flirtation they were. I also couldn’t help but notice that while Chase, Er, c and Zach drew lots of looks they seemed to either not notice or they didn’t care. At least not last night.

 

I had paid way more attention to them than I needed to by far. More so one person in particular but I wasn’t going to go that way in my thoughts right now. That was one of the things I had been in that training room to work out. I had never felt attraction in the way that I had heard Mar and even Lynn gush over, not until yesterday.

 

It couldn't have happened with a worse selection than Eric and not just because of him being a leader. I felt like some damn naughty school girl crushing on my teacher. Like some Erudite girls had for one of our teachers when we had still been going to classes. I could not stop staring and even Lynn had mentioned something to me about how often I looked flustered.

 

It couldn't be helped. There was something about his eyes that had first held me when he had barked out demanding to know what Lynn had been joking about. They were blue but there was this underlying tone of grey that reminds me of the blade of a knife. That has to be why they seemed to cut through and pierce me as I stared into them for way too long. He was built and oozed menace along with power. Everything about him, from his perfectly styled hair, the symmetrical block tattoos on his neck, even the maze ones on his arms; felt controlled and calculated. Everything about him was sending sparks to places that had never been touched before and that was bad news for me. No distractions and especially not with the leader of my faction as well as my instructor. Certainly not _that_ leader and instructor.

 

It was easy sitting there talking with Chase. He was free with his smiles and laughs. He had a sarcastic sense of humor. It was like he could tell there was something troubling me so he was doing what he could to help keep my mind off of it. He was like a more mature version of Uriah and I instantly felt comfortable with him.

 

“So what really had you up so early to train?” Chase finally asked once he felt I was at ease enough to answer.

 

I shrug as I sipped on my water. “The main reason was I couldn’t sleep. There is a guy that was crying, pretty darn loudly, all night. It would have been pointless to just lay there and I couldn’t trust I wouldn’t try and physically knock him out if I had stayed. So I got up and decided to get my day started.”

 

He frowned at my explanation but he didn’t say anymore. I couldn’t read his thoughts about it other than worry maybe.”Well like you said it might not be good to put someone in the clinic before fights even start.” He teased finally.

 

I laughed and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, if it isn’t going to count for something then I think I am going to save my efforts.”

 

“Am I detecting a little bit of hotheadedness?” He asked with a wink.

 

I sucked my teeth in thought and tilted my head. “You might be. I am stubborn as hell and I can have flares of temper that would rival a volcanic eruption. It just depends on the situation I guess. Sometimes I prefer to wait. I have a temper but I also have patience.”

 

He winced and drank his coffee then looked back to me with laughter and truth in his eyes. “Remind me not to piss you off, Kat.”

 

I let out a laugh and shrugged. “I don’t think you will have anything to worry since I can already tell I like you, but crazier things have happened.”

 

Chase briefly gave me a smug smile before it turned friendly again. I didn’t stay much longer sitting with him. He had mentioned that his friends would be joining him shortly. By friends, I knew one of those was sure to be Eric. The thought of seeing Eric again had my stomach doing things that were setting me off balance and I knew it was time for me to head back to training.

 

Chase would be training the Dauntless born with Lauren and I felt a pang of jealousy at that. That my friends got to have Chase and Lauren and I would be stuck with Four and Eric. One I would rather not have to be around if at all possible and the other I wanted to be around but knew I needed to stay far away from.

 

He promised to see me at lunch with a tone and look I didn’t recognize as I headed out after grabbing a new water bottle. When I got back in I started to work on the bags. I couldn’t do much with my hands because I didn’t have tape or gloves of any kind. Another thing I need to get when I get the watch. I scowl at myself and my absentmindedness from the previous day. I was letting my excitement of being in Dauntless and with my friends interfere with my focus. I needed to make sure to balance it all. Live my life and have fun but remember that there are cuts and Tris and I are looked at as the weakest links here. We will be gunned for as the easiest targets to get rid of so that we don’t take someone else’s spot.

 

_‘Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.’_

This is a phrase that I run through my mind as I work. It is one of the many phrases that I have formed to be mantras. The goal is to clear my mind of doubt as I am fighting. To focus my attention and be able to shut out outside factors.

 

I am in the middle of this when I feel eyes on me. I sensed it was him and I can’t understand how that could be possible in such few encounters. I didn’t let on though. I doubled my efforts in using my mantras to limit the outside interference to my focus and kept on working. He very well might be trying to do that on purpose. Unsettle me or sneak up on me, to test and see if I was keeping my bearings or awareness. When he moved, he moved like a predator. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the way he just moved regardless of if he was truly stalking me at the moment. I think it might just be how he moves. Either way I had to concentrate even harder on my form to not give in to the shiver of pleasure and the wave of confusion at that and him being so near.

 

 

__


	5. Getting What I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of initiation brings Eric face to face and one on one with Kat. Will he be able to keep himself away from her and to the role of Leader and instructor?

_Hey little girl is your daddy home_

_Did he go away and leave you all alone_

_I got a bad desire_

_I’m on fire_

_Tell me now baby is he good to you_

_Can he do to you the things that I do_

_I can take you higher_

_I’m on fire_

_Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife baby_

_Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley_

_Through the middle of my soul_

_At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet_

_And a freight train running through the_

_Middle of my head_

_Only you can cool my desire_

_I’m on fire_

_[I’m on Fire; Bruce Springsteen, E Street Band]_

**Chapter 5 - Getting What I Want**

__

__

**_Eric_ **

__

I woke the next morning at my normal time of four am and started my routine. Not having meetings or anything to put me off of it, I set about my regular habits. My first stop would be to the dining hall to get some coffee before I got in some training time. I would do all of that before I had to spend the day with initiates.

 

Normally I dreaded this shit but today was different because there was Kat. I don’t know when in the night I had decided, but I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t avoid things. I might need to wait but I was going to try. It might have been because of those nightmares. The faceless person that normally haunted me had a face now. The dream had been even more visceral and I had woken in a state that had demanded me to provide myself instant relief. I had stumbled into the shower, sweaty from fighting the dream and the passion that it had burned into the waking world and took matters into my own hands. Literally.

 

Images of her there with me, her body pressed against mine, her lips wrapped around me as her hazel eyes looked up at me with passion and pleasure had me coming undone sooner than I could have predicted. It had me crying out hoarsely in my release. I had stood panting into the spray for minutes and knew that if just the thought of her left me shaking from my release then having her in the flesh was sure to be ten times that experience. I had to have her. I just knew I had to bide my time and make sure she was there at the end of it all.

 

Chase was in the dining hall as normal but this morning he was staring into his cup of coffee and looking contemplative as I joined him. I frowned at him but took a few sips of my own before I spoke.

 

“What has you looking so deep in thought this damn early?” My voice was still thick with sleep and would be until I got some caffeine into my system.

 

Chase looked up, tilted his head and sighed as his eyes met mine. “Eric, we need to talk.” His voice was low and serious.

 

Instantly I groaned and went tense as I closed my eyes. I shook my head a little and then took a deep breath. “That cannot be good coming from you this early in the morning. What is it?” I snapped that last part but I knew what it was about.

 

Chase shrugged and his frown was still in place. “We need to talk about her.”

 

I didn’t need to ask who the ‘her’ he was referring to is. We both knew who it was and had known at lunch we were going to be heading to this talk.

 

“Okay,” I said simply and more calmly than I felt. My jaw was clenched though as well as having my free hand balled into a fist.

 

Gods how fast and hard my jealousy and temper had flared up. I don’t know how to handle this and it is scaring me.

 

Me! Scared of feelings I shouldn’t be even having!

 

Chase didn’t say anything for a few minutes but his eyes moved over me. He was just as tense as me but he suddenly relaxed and a lazy smirk crossed his face.

 

“She was in here not too long ago. Said she was going to be heading to the training room to get some time in.” Chase shrugged and winked at me as he said this. “Just thought I should give you a heads up.”

 

I could only stare at him in return for a minute or so, analyzing the conversation, posture and attitude. I wasn’t stupid and I knew what Chase was doing. I was also grateful as fuck for it. While it might be a dick thing to do and it might be the worst decision considering my position; I knew I wasn’t going to back down either.

 

A good friend might. A good friend might say to the other that neither should go after the girl. A good leader would back off and realize that he was crossing a line.

 

Apparently, I am far from a good friend because I was downing my coffee and moving off with a nod in Chase’s direction. It seems I am also not such a great leader because I am so damn tired of giving everything to this faction and feeling empty as shit.

 

I want Kat. I want to feel what I have gotten a taste of with her. So fuck being the perfect leader because I am getting what I want.

 

I had to go to the Leader’s private training room to grab my gear and change. By the time I made it to the training room that the transfer initiates would be using I could hear the sounds of someone going at the punching bags already. I stood in the door watching her for a little bit. The lights in the big and long room were mainly off. There were a few on that seemed to act as spotlights over a punching bag here or there. Kat had apparently selected one of the spots that had one of these lights on and decided it was as good as place as any.

 

She knew the Dauntless forms, that was for sure but she wasn’t concentrating on them. She was doing some form of martial arts mainly. Taekwondo or that is what it looked like. Smart for her frame which was petite with very little brute force behind it. She had power behind the kicks and it showed she concentrated in that area.

 

I moved in, watching her closely and trying not to let my thoughts as I watched her body move, turn into anything other than professional.

 

“I hope that I am not breaking some kind of rule by being here.” She got out in a pant as she leaped into a kick, landed it and then spun around to face me.

 

My eyebrows shot up in surprise that she had noticed I was near when she had looked so absorbed in her actions. My own attention had gone to how her muscles moved along with her now that I could see them in the short sleeved t-shirt and Capri leggings she was wearing.

 

I shook my head in a smirk and dropped my gear bag when I moved over to the side. “You aren’t breaking a rule, just a standard. It is unusual for initiates to take….” I stop and shrugged with the smirk still in place “...initiative and want to put in more time to their training.”

 

Kat gave a small laugh as she panted then picked up her water bottle to take a drink. After she had taken a few sips she nodded. “Well, I can see at least with this group that is going to be the case. I knew I was going to want to get in some extra time before and after but I didn’t count on being at it as early.”

 

I frowned and thought back to my conversation with Chase. He had said she had been in the dining hall earlier but he hadn’t said for how long. “How long have you been up and at training?”

 

She tilted her head in thought. “I need to get a watch but it has been a while. I couldn’t sleep what with the farm boy sniveling all night. I kept waiting for his tears to lull him to sleep but it just didn’t happen. I finally said screw it and got up then came in here straight away. I warmed up and did some cardio before doing a run for an hour or so but left to get some water. I ran into Chase while there and talked to him for a while but then came back in here to get at it again.”

 

She shrugged as she said all of this. I couldn’t help being upset that her sleep was being disturbed by someone that couldn’t get his shit together. I was even more upset that she had been talking to Chase for longer than he had let on. Then I realized that Chase has taken himself out of the running with Kat and I didn’t have a right to be jealous of that time with her.

 

“You need to get good sleep too, Kat. Let me know if he keeps that shit up.” My tone is harsher than I meant it to be. I meant it to be more on the concerned side but I am so out of practice with that it is laughable.

 

I wait for her to flinch or change demeanor that would suggest I had frightened her but it never comes.

 

She nods to me respectfully and gives me a small smile even. “I was thinking of buying some earplugs when I get my watch but I will keep that in mind. Thank you, Sir.”

 

I hate her calling me ‘Sir’ but I can’t allow myself to correct her, not yet. I know that if I keep this up it is going to come soon. I pass over that thought and motion to the bag.

 

“Interesting combos you were throwing out there. Mind showing me the moves you have in your forms.” I go back to my commanding tone but when I am addressing her, without anyone here, it comes out damn close to being seductive.

 

She shivers as she turns so she doesn’t catch the smirk I have at her reaction to me. I can’t help but feel pleased about it. Especially after I remember bits of her conversation with her friends at lunch. She had remarked that no one had ever grabbed her attention in that way before or drew her interest. I had picked up on the fact that she didn’t have the same kind of reservations or thoughts about affection or the opposite sex as most Abnegation.

 

One thing that had been referred to but she had moved on past it quickly; was that she had apparently been kissed before. I had honestly been surprised I didn’t get upset about that. But from all indications from her, it hadn’t been a good or even wanted. That part had set my blood to boil until she saw that Uri was getting upset along with a few others at the table. Then she had reassured her friends that the guy had learned his lesson and never tried that with her again.

 

I watched her as she slowly moved through her forms. She started out with the Dauntless standards and then moved on.

 

“You are starting out in the Dauntless stance to lure in your opponents to going for certain moves and then switching?” I asked impressed as I circled her with my eye appraising her critically.

 

I had been worried before I came to the training room but watching her, I became excited. I saw potential in her. Real potential and not just me seeing something in her because of my own desire for her. I nodded in thought at her strategy. It was a good plan to keep what all she could do in her pocket and not show everything, at least to the others. But she would show me what she knew...now.

 

“Show me what else you know, Kat. Don’t hold back because I will know.”

 

My tone was firm and brooked no argument. I had made a decision in the last twenty minutes that I wouldn’t just help her here and there, but as much as possible. I didn’t care if I was going to get shit for it. The potential I saw in her was more than I had seen in a while. Between that and my desire to keep her here I knew I didn’t want to just make sure she stayed but that she was in the top ranked.

 

This would also let me spend as much time as I could with her. I would do this as long as she was willing to let me be here for. I could order her to be here every morning and would if it came to it but I didn’t think I would need to. Not as the hour progressed.

 

When I moved to adjust, move or stand near her; she didn’t flinch or falter. It seemed to bolster and embolden her. It pushed her and I couldn’t be happier about that. I could tell her body was reacting to me as much as mine was to hers. She also didn’t know what was going on. There came a point where her working the bag was ineffective so I moved us to do light sparring. Never mind that gave me even more reasons to have physical contact with her. I enjoyed it for the spirit she put into it. She had pulled a move that caused us to stop sparring altogether and broke into a discussion about some of the moves she was thinking up. That turned into her demonstrating them to me.

 

There was no stopping the smile that crossed my face when I ended up being taken to the ground in ten seconds by this elfin looking girl in a move that she had said she dreamed up. I even laughed as she perched on top of me, looking down at me with an impish smirk on her face.

 

My watch went off alerting me to the time I normally grabbed breakfast with Zach and Chase before I start my workday. For the initiation time of year that would be before the initiates had to be woken up. A job I left Four to do for the entire time if possible.

 

I shook my head still smiling up at her. “You are going to tell me how the hell you came up with that move but first we need to get you breakfast. I have to meet Chase and Zach anyways.”

 

My hands had been on her hips without even knowing it. When she took me down to the mat I had landed on my back and she had pounced, straddling me. We both realized this about the same time. With a blush, Kat popped up and then offered me a hand to help me up. I chuckled and took it, surprised in general about how my morning was going so far and pleased.

 

“What time is it?” Kat asked as she moved to collect her water bottle and jacket.

 

I shouldered my bag and moved over towards her. “Forty-five past 0600. You have been going at it pretty hard and for a while. You have a long day ahead of you too.”

 

I could already see her calculating as soon as I told her the time. I knew she was adding the hours she had done so far and how many were left before the group training would take place. I knew because I would have and had done the same thing when I had been in her same position. I had learned the hard way that I needed to take the time to relax before those longer sessions took place.

 

Kat looked over to me with a nod. “I could use the breakfast too if lunch is at the midway point.”

 

I smirked back at her and nodded, my hand going to the small of her back as I guided her along. I didn’t even ask her if she wanted to come along to where I normally had breakfast with my friends. I also hadn’t even thought if that was a particularly brilliant idea or not. It wasn’t until I was putting my code into the door of my apartment that I saw it register for her, then it registered for me.

__


	6. The Way That I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat joins Eric and his friends for breakfast. Her reason for leaving Abnegation is revealed and more about the mystery of Kat Prior becomes clear.

**Chapter 6 - The Way That I Am**

__

**_Kat_ **

__

My morning had taken a turn I couldn’t have predicted. Not in the least. I had gone to the training room, partially to get away from the thoughts I was having about Eric, only to have him appear. I should have been uncomfortable, or at least more uncomfortable than I was, but I couldn’t be.

 

I had enjoyed having him there during my self-training. Yes, he intimidated me but in a way that seemed to push me to do better. His manner when he would adjust or move me was rough and firm but I expected it. I got this rush, a flurry, and a flutter. Between the adrenaline high from the physical activity and the fact that I am finally being trained for real in Dauntless my body is buzzing with electricity. It might be showing that excitement in weird ways. Like my nipples straining against the material of my sports bra, warmth coursing through my body and thighs...but I was still feeling energized and enjoying myself.

 

Having this time with a leader of my faction and instructor was a rush for me. I wanted to pick his brain apart for moves I had thought of, read about or had been trying to piece together from other moves I already knew. Then having the opportunity to spar with him, something that I had only been able to do against Lynn, Mar and Uri; was beyond exciting. I was charged with the fire to take full advantage of it.

 

All thought, for the moment, had gone out of my head about things I had been thinking or felt in regards to Eric. That was until I was straddling him and he turned the most beautiful smile on at me. I swear my knees went to jelly. Thank god I had already been sitting down.

 

I had the urge to lean forward and press my lips against his perfect and full ones. To run my hands through that perfectly styled hair that is just begging me to mess it up. I seriously think I am about to do just that when his watch alarm goes off.

 

_Saved by the freaking bell!_

 

I am just flustered enough that I don’t even register where he has been guiding me after he commanded me in the most knee-weakening way, that I needed to get breakfast and it was assumed I would be joining him.

 

I realize where we are when I hear him pressing in a code at what I now see is a residential door.

 

_Holy shit! We are in his apartment?_

 

I swallowed briefly and my forehead furrowed in thought. Surely it couldn’t be proper for me to be going into a leader’s apartment when I was an initiate. I thought about refusing and looked up to Eric’s face. He was watching me closely, waiting for me to make a decision.

 

Eric didn’t seem like the type to risk his position by doing anything that would be against the rules. It also wasn’t like I was worried about him even wanting to try anything with me. He is a leader and I could freely admit more handsome than any man had a right to be. I was sure he had much better prospects lined up and didn’t need to lower himself to be with me. Even if that thought stung more than a little bit.

 

I did enjoy our one on one time this morning and I would like to pick his brain more. Especially if I could get another one of those smiles. What could it hurt?

 

I shrugged and it seemed that was all he had been waiting for. He opened the door further and motioned me in first. There were sounds coming from what had to be the kitchen before his friend Zach walked out of it and looked to us.

 

His eyes seemed to widen slightly and then he smiled.

 

“Well, I guess we have another person joining us today. Coffee?” Zach asked with the smile still in place.

 

Eric had put his bag down and moved to show me where to sit, even pulling out a chair for me. I blushed and looked to Zach. “Please!” I replied in a pleading tone and a smile on my lips.

 

He laughed at that and poured a cup for me before he made one up for Eric then went back to the kitchen.

 

Eric moved a container of sugar and cream towards me but I just smiled and sipped on the black coffee and sighed in bliss. He gave a chuckle and sipped on his own black as sin coffee. It was good, much better than what my friends had been bringing me. I could definitely get spoiled to this rich taste. I could also get spoiled to having it served to me and getting to drink it next to him.

 

_Dammit! Get away from that train of though Kat Prior!_

 

We hadn’t been sitting there long before Chase walked in to join us as well. As soon as he got seated and greeted me, Zach brought in plates full of food and put them down for everyone to pull from. I sat back and looked over the selections, content to wait for the guys to get theirs first before I got anything.

 

Eric wasn’t going to have that because he rolled his eyes and started filling a plate for me. “I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about any of that selfless shit with you Kat.”

 

I laughed and took the plate when he handed it to me. “Oh, that wasn’t me being selfless, Sir. That was me wanting to keep my limbs intact. I saw how all the Dauntless-born and members went after the food at lunch and dinner last night. I have also been eating with Uri for three years with a meal or two a day and believe me you don’t want a hand near food when that guy is hungry.”

 

Zach and Chase laughed while Eric graced me with that smile again as he shook his head. “I still don’t understand how you have known them for three years and obviously trained with them too.” It wasn’t said in a questioning tone but I could tell that it really was and one he knew I would pick up he wanted to be answered.

 

I had just taken a bite of the eggs that Zach had made and smiled at him. “These are very good Zach, thank you.”

 

He shrugged but looking smug too. “I do breakfast better while Eric tends to do better dinners. Nothing fancy but it beats the dining hall.”

 

I nod and take a sip of my coffee. Eric is still waiting for an answer if his quirked eyebrow is anything to go by. He was letting me know he hadn’t forgotten the question and expected an answer.

 

“I ran often and saw them often as they would hang out in different areas where I was at. I am sure they didn’t even know I was Abnegation since it wasn’t like I could wear my faction clothes to run around. It would have drawn too much attention and raised too many questions. I honestly didn’t expect to ever speak to them or anyone on my runs. But Mar and Lynn had been waiting for Uri for something one time and while they were waiting some factionless kids started up on them. I went to help them and it just went from there.” I said with a shrug as I ate some more.

 

I kept my eyes on my plate though I couldn’t help but notice that all the guys had tensed the minute I started talking about being in the different sectors. The mention of Factionless had Eric tensing even more.

 

I knew I was treading into dangerous territory by answering the question. It wasn’t like I could lie about this because they could just ask one of my friends. I just hoped it didn’t bring up other things because I wasn’t sure how much I could or wanted to talk about.

 

We ate a little bit more before Chase broke the silence. “What clothes were you wearing if not of your own faction?”

 

He was frowning when I looked up to him and took a sip of my coffee.

 

“Well, I may have come into a few outfits for Erudite and Dauntless. I could have mixed and matched them but that would have made me look like a factionless kid and that could have spelled more trouble for me than help me.”

 

Eric had started to mutter something so low I couldn’t hear it until his eyes snapped to mine as if a thought just occurred to him. “You said last night something about encounters with the factionless. How bad did those get?”

 

And there it was. The exact question I didn’t know if I wanted to get into. Something I hadn’t ever talked about to anyone really, not even Mom. I couldn’t _not_ answer him though. I tilted my head in thought as I looked at a leader of my faction and wondered how much I should go into or how truthful I should be.

 

“Everything Kat,” Eric demanded as if reading my mind. His tone was soft but I wasn’t fooled. He meant business and I had a feeling he was the type that if he suspected any subterfuge he would seek out answers himself and it wouldn’t be pleasant if he was forced to do that. Lying would only make things worse for me.

 

I sighed and nodded. “If you want to know everything…” I trailed off and took a sip of my coffee first. “I haven’t talked about this really, so forgive me if I ramble or it takes a while to put it together..”

 

Zach flinched as if he was preparing for something truly horrible and I smiled at him. “It probably isn’t as bad as I am making it seem. I just….I don’t talk about most things easily with people...even my family.”

 

_Especially my family._

 

He nodded but his lips were thinned. All of their lips were. I sighed and looked to Eric. “I didn’t always show my hand that I wouldn’t be staying in Abnegation. In fact, it was a shock to my father most likely because I played the role so well over the last few years. When I was younger though it was another story. For both my sister and I, we just couldn’t hide that we were miserable in Abnegation. Don’t get me wrong I think Abnegation has such wonderful points to it, they just weren’t meant for me.”

 

I saw disdain and loathing cross Eric’s face but I continued on. “Sir, I know that it isn’t perfect. No faction is perfect really. I also know that there are people in that faction that really shouldn’t be.” I had ground the last part out as I thought of one particular person that I would love nothing more than to see hung over the chasm and plunge into its depths after showing his true colors to the world.

 

Chase nudged me a little while I was lost in the dream of a justice far more merciful than the man probably deserves.

 

I looked up to find Eric studying me. His eyes looked contemplative but waiting. “There are people like my mother and father, though, that show me how good a faction can be when the person truly belongs. When they are committed to it and are working to do their best to not only be the example to the other members of the faction but to find true happiness in their role. It was never more apparent for me than when I would work alongside my mom with the factionless. The people she tended to adore her. They could see how genuine she was in her want to help them and that she didn’t treat them like they were scum. She was never condescending to them or think they were subhuman.”

 

I paused and chewed my lip, feeling guilty for my own opinions and thoughts on the factionless. “I had issues with this and it was apparent in how they interacted with me and how they were with her. They could sense it even if on the surface I was nothing but the epitome of a perfect Abnegation. They weren’t hostile to me but I could tell watching them with her and then how they responded to me that they sensed or knew what I really thought. Sometimes I could look at my mom and dad….I wished that I had what they did there in Abnegation.”

 

My eyes met Chase’s and he tilted his head with a frown. I knew the question he had before he said it and I shook my head. “No, I am not saying I wish I could have stayed. I mean I wish I could find the peace and sense of completeness I know they have because they are committed to their faction and the work. They belong and they know they do because they choose to put everything they have into it and they get as much from what they put in. I never got that there and I longed for it. The best way I can describe it and them….”

 

I tilt my head in thought as I search for a comparison. One comes to mind as I chew my lip in thought and then nod. “I guess it would probably be a comparison to some of the great humanitarians in pre-war society. I am not saying they are not flawed or perfect because I am a realist enough to know better. My parents aren’t perfect or all-knowing. They are kind and good though and the best way I could describe how content they are in their place is how someone once described Mother Teresa. It was said that she was someone so at peace with her place, her spirituality and the work that you could see and feel it radiating from her. That is what I see when I look at my mom and what I could never see in myself there, what I knew I never would see in myself there.”

 

I took a bite of my eggs and paused in my thoughts. Zach frowned and paused in his eating. “Are there many that are like you in Abnegation you think?”

 

I finished chewing and shrugged. “It’s not like I know everyone personally in Abnegation but those that I worked with, the girls especially, seemed to be very similar to my mother. There are and were some I wondered about but I think they stayed because they knew what to expect. The unknown can be a scary thing for some people. On the whole, I would say the majority of people in Abnegation do really want to help. I know that sometimes I felt as if that help was pointless or in vain. Maybe that is where some of the...lack...builds up over time? It probably doesn’t help that across all factions dependents are told repeatedly to trust the test in one breath but if someone does then they are called a traitor and choosing the faction you are called to is taboo if it differs from the damn one you are born into.”

 

I huffed that last part out and was rewarded with nods from the guys as they ate.

 

“So what changed for you then?” Eric asked in between bites of his food. He hadn’t forgotten his original question it seemed.

 

I put down my fork and looked at him seriously. “Sir, do you remember that Dauntless used to patrol and police the factionless sectors instead of just responding to outbreaks or incidents?”

 

Eric’s face darkened and he nodded slowly. “Yes,” He gritted out slowly.

 

Taking in his demeanor I gathered that not only did he remember, but maybe it had some personal significance for him that they had pulled out. It made me wary of telling him this next part but I had already started. “My father was adamant on all the votes that Dauntless be kept in that role. For years, really, he held to that vote.”

 

Zach had shaken his head frowning. “Well, then what changed? Because his vote was the swaying one that had Dauntless pull out.”

 

Their eyes were all on me and I felt the crushing weight of my actions and what it had done to the city. “I happened.” I finally got out in a soft voice, my hands in my lap as I looked down at the table. “I said I didn’t hide my wild side and I hadn’t. Tris wasn’t as bad as me but I pulled her along with me at times. She was my older sister so she felt she needed to be with me anyways. We were doing something; I don’t even remember what but it was something we shouldn’t have been doing. I think I was climbing the buildings. Some men, factionless men, came upon us. I think you can imagine what they wanted so I won’t go into those details.”

 

“Kat...did they…” Chase asked with a clenched jaw.

 

I shook my head. “No. I held them off with whatever tactics I could, mostly dirty. It helped that they weren’t expecting an Abnegation to fight back much less a little girl. I knew there was a guard station not far away. I may have been wild but I wasn’t stupid and if I was ever going to be doing anything I made sure I was in shouting or running reach of help. I ordered Tris to run after the guard and she did right away.”  


“She left you there?” Eric barked out with an angry scowl.

 

I shook my head adamantly. “No, I was following her, almost right on her heels. But there was another man I hadn’t seen that came at me from the side and tackled me. I used a few well-placed kicks and shoved gravel in his eyes hard enough to get him to let me go. I was up by the time the Dauntless came but he was alone, his backup was still a minute away. He ordered me to get behind him, weapon drawn and I was completely going to comply. I wasn’t stupid. I knew he had the weapon and I didn’t. It wasn’t until I saw that one of the factionless had drawn a knife and looked to be going to stab the patrolman that it went haywire. He was outflanked so it would have happened regardless.”

 

I had to pause for long moments to collect myself and go over that day in my mind. Still, to this day it is murky and I don’t know what happened. One of the hands in my lap was enveloped in warmth and squeezed slightly. I looked up to see Eric looked at me in concern and nodded for me to continue.

 

“I still don’t know if I stabbed him or if was just an accident, the factionless guy that had the knife pulled.” I held Eric’s eyes as I spoke, or he held me captive in his piercing blue ones. Giving me the strength to tell this story to someone finally. Something I didn’t even realize I had needed so damn badly.

 

“One minute I was looking at things as if they were in slow motion and then this feeling of…..an all-consuming fire came over me, it was all red and hazy. All I felt was fire and rage coursing through me. The next thing I knew was that the factionless guy was on the ground and I was perched on top of him with the knife buried to the hilt into him. There was blood and my hands were practically stuck around the hilt they were clutched so tightly. I don’t know if I was trying to pull it free but it came with my hands when I jerked them away. There was another factionless person in front of me and I heard yelling around me. The next thing I knew was I felt a new type of fire blooming from my chest and then I watched my shirt grow a red splotch that kept getting bigger.”

 

Eric’s face contorted in rage and his grip tightened on my hand. “Who shot you?”

 

“One of the patrolmen that came in as the backup. All he saw was a young girl covered in blood and wielding a knife. He reacted exactly as he should have to eliminate the threat.” I was squeezing his hand now, having covered it with my other one as I tried to reassure Eric but I could tell he wasn’t having it.

 

“That is no fucking excuse!” Eric’s voice was like thunder sounding in the apartment and Zach put a hand on his shoulder with his own frown etched deeply into his face.

 

“That is why your father changed his vote? Because you were shot by one of the Dauntless?” Chase asked softly. His expression wasn’t judgemental or angry, he seemed understanding even.

 

Did he get how much guilt I carry around about that? I know I have never spoken aloud about how much I feel like I need to make up for. How much this drives me to not only make it in Dauntless but to make it up to Dauntless.

 

I nodded and sighed. “I argued and argued with him. I argued until I was blue in the face and I even hunted down Marcus Eaton and lit into him.” I snort in disgust at the memory of that foul man and his pleasure at my giving him exactly what he wanted, the Dauntless out. My lips thin and I take a deep breath to contain my rage at him so I can continue.

 

“It was too late honestly because by the time they released me from Erudite Medical an emergency vote had taken place. I was still in the operating room when it happened.” I was interrupted as soon as I got out, operating room, by Eric once again.

 

“Operating room? Where were you shot Kat?” Eric once again gripped my hand and was looking over me worriedly. I knew he would be looking to see if it would be a hindrance to my physical capabilities.

 

With a sigh, I pulled my shirt aside so they could see the bullet wound. It was close enough to the heart that I could hear the breath being taken from Chase and Eric both.

 

“Fuck” Zach breathed out and he shook his head.

 

I smiled sadly and released my shirt. It was silent for a moment because I needed time to catch my breath and I refused to cry. I could tell Eric and Chase were disturbed by the events but I am not sure exactly what their thoughts were. I was just glad that as far as I could tell I was not seeing hate for being the cause of Dauntless being pulled from the factionless sector.

 


	7. The Wheels Begin to Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat's story has Eric thinking and evaluating things. Will it be enough to really change the way he thinks and what kind of trouble would that bring.

**Chapter 7 - The Wheels Begin To Turn**

**_Eric_ **

__

I didn’t know what to think about everything Kat had just told me. Seeing that scar where a bullet from a screw up of a patrolman hit so fucking close to her heart was leaving me trembling with the need to pull her to me and just hold her. To reassure myself that she was indeed here and that some idiot hadn’t taken her from me.

 

I can’t speak I am so caught up in emotions that I am not at all used to handling. Kat smiles sadly at us and she doesn’t remove her hand from mine. She returns the squeeze I am giving hers as if she needs reassurance just as much as I do.

 

She takes a breath as if she is able to talk again. “I lived, and it is a reminder to me of many things but one of them is how strong I am and how much pain I can take. After the surgery I was up and back to school in less than a week. My parents had been given permission from the leaders for me to take pain medications if I wanted but I refused. I refused for many reasons but the main one was that I hated the way they made me feel. The damn nurses kept pushing them through the IV when I wouldn’t tell them my pain levels. They made me feel slow and not in control of my body. I knew if I was going to be around those areas and without the protection of the patrols then there was no way I wasn’t going to have control of my body.”

 

My thumb had started to move in circles over her hand. I was going between pride, rage, and disbelief through her story. I think I already knew the other reason but I still needed to ask. I also think she needed to say it out loud too. Because I could see it there in her eyes. I didn’t know how I was going to react to hearing her say the words, but she needed to say them.

 

“What was the other reason you refused the pain medications for?” I got out softly trying to hold in the rage I was feeling at the men that were responsible for her feeling weighed down with guilt.

 

“Punishment. It was my punishment for not being more aware. For allowing it to happen and for changing the course of our city’s path because of one foolish and careless action.” I started to speak as did Zach and Chase. To deny that she had anything to feel guilty about but her chin raised and her eyes went to fire as she shook her head.

 

“You can try and tell me it wasn’t my fault and yes I know it wouldn’t be entirely my fault. No matter that I was barely ten; I can still take responsibility for my actions. It gave those that wanted the vote to go a certain way the opportunity to exploit. They preyed on a father’s desire to protect his children, to protect other children like me. I can still remember my father’s face as he sat beside my bed when I came out of surgery. There was no blame from him, though I could see there was such worry and disappointment. I could see the decision weighing on him heavily and every wince from the pain I made against my will, I think just strengthened his choice and resolve.”

 

“Does he regret it, his decision?” I asked with no malice, but honest curiosity. I had a conflict that was starting to rage in me at her entire story. How much of it was true and how much of it was the skewed view of a young girl that might have been also warped by her parents? Kat didn’t seem the type to just blindly follow along with or to not need to question things. Even with her parents apparently.

 

She tilted her head in thought before she answered. “I think that he has found a way to live in peace with that decision. It was one he felt with every fiber of his being was the right one. Not just for his family but for his faction and the factionless. You have to understand that my father really does and has always believed in the mission of Abnegation. I once had a long talk with him about the factionless and his feelings on them and their choices that led them to that type of life. I can see his points on them and some I don’t agree with but I get where he is coming from. Some of the factionless are there because they were forced to be there. Given the choice, they would have rathered be with either the faction they had chosen or the one they had come from. For reasons known only to them, they had no choice and were forced to go. Others it was completely their choice and they abandoned everything to live that life. My father, mother and people like them aren’t there for the people that willingly chose that. They are there for those that had no choice, the children born to it or the ones forced into it. Our founders set Abnegation up for just this purpose and if they don’t serve it, who will? It isn’t glamorous. It is a thankless job with long hours and hard work. It can be hard on the soul too, to see suffering like that. In so many ways it is like Dauntless. We both serve these purposes that are looked down on by most other factions. We get no thanks, not like we are looking for any really. What would our society be like without either of our factions though? Without those willing to put their own needs aside and take on everything from the shit jobs to the ones that help shape our city. Without those willing to lay down our very lives for the people that call us brutes and barbarians but we do it proudly regardless?”

 

For the first time since I had pulled her hand in mine, she removed hers. She cupped her hands around her cup of coffee and got a spaced-out look on her face as if she was caught up in her reflections.

 

She couldn’t know it but this entire conversation had started wheels to turn in my mind. I realized that just from talking to her those wheels had long been stalled at one point of thought. It would be hard for me to reconcile what has been drilled into me for longer than I can remember with what I am hearing from Kat.

 

Zach turned the conversation to something else while we ate. She might have moved her hand from mine but I hadn’t moved my hand for where it had been. Now my hand was on her knee and she didn’t seem to mind.

 

“So is there _anything_ you didn’t train in?” Zach asked with a laugh.

 

We had gone to the subject of her training this morning and the move she took me out with. She had a list of things she had been trying to teach herself or was taught and it was long.

 

Kat laughed with a smile. “Of course there is plenty I didn’t train in! You have to remember most of what I learned I had no one to practice it on because it has all come from books or my mind. The main thing I couldn’t train in has been weapons.” She pauses and smirks then chuckles. “Well, firearms are really what I couldn’t train in. I know about throwing knives and some other weapons that could be considered ranged but were more readily available for me to get. I made trades where I could to get throwing knives. I even got to sneak to Amity a few times and a few of my friends from school there helped me learn to make a real old school bow and arrow. I was shit at first but you have to be pretty specific about how you make the arrows. That was just for shits and giggles really, I didn’t expect it to be a real skill needed here but I couldn’t pass up learning it.”

 

I couldn’t help but join in chuckling along with my friends. Chase made a joke about her carrying a bow and arrow around Dauntless instead of a gun. She pretended to pout and laughed but then got serious on us as she tilted her head in thought. I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as something occurred to her.

 

“Seriously with the right composition though, maybe making it out of some kind of metal, it could be a serious weapon. I mean think about the damage one arrow loaded with something like Greek Fire, which granted was volatile but was effective, but think about the impact it would have. Weight and stealth would be at ultimate levels while cost could be kept at a minimum. Materials could be a breeze to get and it wouldn’t even need to be contracted outside of Dauntless to make. Wow, there are so many damn possibilities really…..” She stopped and looked to me, her face flushed. “I am rambling.” She supplied with a smile and I shook my head.

 

She wasn’t rambling, she was brainstorming and it was such a turn on to have watched that take place. I couldn’t show that or tried not to so I chuckled and shrugged. “Why don’t we save that little brainstorming session for another time. It’s time to get to the training room.”

 

Chase helped me to clean up after breakfast while Zach and Kat moved into the living room. He was showing her the bookcases and they were talking about my books.

 

Chase caught my eye with one of his eyebrows quirked at me. “So how did that happen?” He indicated her with his head.

 

I shrugged as I scraped plates then handed them to him to rinse and put in the dishwasher. “She needed breakfast and if I hadn’t insisted she probably would have just kept training.”

 

Chase smirked and nodded at first but then he turned to me fully and spoke quietly. “Just be careful here Eric. I can already tell you there are going to be at least a few of the transfers that will already be gunning for her and her sister. They are going to look for any excuses but if they get wind of any kind of special treatment they will give her shit in very nasty ways.”

 

I scowled at him but I already knew he was right. It was part of why I felt the need to help train her. Because I knew she was going to come under attack. The thought of how far Dauntless had come in regards to how internally brutal we could be had been weighing on me.

 

I brush aside that for right now and answer him. “I’m just making sure she reaches her full potential here. Besides...I already have orders…”

 

I trail off at that and his face when it darkens then grips the counter while staring me down. “What kind of orders Eric?”

 

I sigh and run a hand over my face as I shrug. “Just to watch her for now. They don’t want her, it’s her sister.” Or at least I fucking hope against hope it is her sister.

 

Chase snorts and shakes his head. “If they want the one they are going to want the other. If that is the case Eric….” he stops and looks at his hands with a deep frown “...maybe it would be better to just back off completely.”

 

I knew he wasn’t saying what he was thinking too. That it would hurt not only Kat but all three of us, to have to turn her over in the end and having got so close to her. Hell, I was already feeling hurt at the thought of it.

 

I couldn’t help the rage that came over me. I realize he is right. No matter if she isn’t what they suspect...what I suspect...because they want her sister they will want her too. Jeanine wants all Prior’s in some way or another. There would be no way with how fucking obsessed she is with Marcus and the Prior’s that she wouldn’t want them both no matter if they aren’t divergent or not.

 

I put the plate down and gripped the counter. What was I going to do? The answer should be so fucking simple and maybe before Kat crashed to the roof and my life it would have been. Maybe before I woke up from the dead husk I was becoming I could have stood by and allowed that to happen. Not now though.

 

Now I need time to think and plan. I need time to clear my mind and I should take that time to stay away from her.

 

Her laughter at something Zach was saying drifted to me and felt like I was being surrounded in warmth. I knew that it wasn’t going to fucking happen. I wasn’t going to be able to stay away.

 

I hurried to finish what we were doing so we could set out for the day. I was already wondering how I could get her to spend lunch with me as we split off from Chase and Zach. I was in thought so at first, I didn’t realize there was a change in how Kat was behaving next to me.

 

She was walking just a step behind me in a stiff and formal manner. I knew she wasn’t afraid to be seen with me, that wasn’t what it was. She had distanced herself from me and had the expression and aura of a chastened student. She must have felt my eyes on her because she looked at me, smiled and winked quickly, before wiping all that away and going back to the way she was.

 

Internally a shit eating grin took over everything inside of me. I had so many feelings that just flooded me at once from such a simple damn thing with her. The pleasure that I didn’t need to say anything to her about needing to not announce our…..friendship….was palpable. The pleasure that she also wasn’t ashamed or afraid of being seen with me but knew we needed to maintain an image just amplified everything I was already feeling.

 

I also felt relief that I wasn’t going to have to possibly offend her by having to set rules to the friendship I can see we are developing. I had worried that she would get all in her feelings and have them hurt when I couldn’t act in public like I had just been doing in private. That would have been a nightmare that I wouldn’t know how to handle.

 

That all of that was just...unspoken and understood...was like she got me. My back went straighter, my chin higher and my glare even more fierce as we walked together. I am sure that those we passed thought I was pissed about something the new initiate had done but it was just fucking pride, desire and the growing need for the day where she could openly be by my side that caused it all.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Weapons were first up for the day. I had internally been looking forward to how Kat was going to react to this from the moment we had started to talk about the subject at breakfast. Just the mention of them had caused her to bounce in her seat and I had been able to feel her energy levels shoot up in a buzz from beside me.

 

I wasn’t disappointed in her reaction. Pleasure, respect and barely restrained excitement glittered behind her eyes after Four had shoved a gun into her hands then her sister’s. I also couldn’t help but notice the difference between the two, who were standing side by side, considering it was so glaringly obvious to me.

 

While her sister seemed to be in some kind of internal battle of wrongness, Kat was eager but watchful. They were both watching everything Four was showing them. Knowing Kat the little that I do now, though, it was like I could see the wheels turning in her mind as she shouldered the weapon. She was taking forever to do anything with it at first. The other initiates were already firing, even her sister. It as like I was being pulled by a magnet to her to find out why. I knew she wasn’t afraid so what could be the reason she wasn’t firing yet?

 

“Is there a problem, Initiate?” I asked in the same tone I had used with her earlier. Anyone else might hear menace behind it but I knew by the flash in her eyes Kat heard the same tone. I didn’t have my normal sneer I would have put to the tenor and question for anyone else.

 

Kat shook her head as she looked over her shoulder at me. “Sir, no Sir. I am trying to adjust the gun to my own build and weight. I am also trying to let my muscles memorize the movements of raising and lowering the gun.”

 

A small smirk escaped me as I nodded approvingly. Then I noticed that the gun was cradled a little too high and was going to have more force on her collarbone than needed. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around the gun to bring it down and more firmly into place.

 

“It will come back hard and the collarbone would be taking the brunt of the force. Try to make sure to secure into the crook of your shoulder with as little contact to the collarbone as possible.” My tone was gruff caused by the contact of her skin against mine. I spoke as firmly as possible though to try and make up for this and hoped it didn’t show.

 

I would have liked to stay there like that as she fired her first shot but I knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. Her first shot would be done on her own. So I let my hands drop but stayed close behind her, towering over her in height but not to intimidate her. Once again I knew it was only pushing her instead of unsettling her.

 

I could feel Four’s glare at me from down the roof but didn’t bother turning to look. “Now fire,” I ordered her commandingly.

 

“Yes, Sir.” She replied as she sighted the target, took a slow deep breath in and released just as slowly while she squeezed the trigger.

 

Her shot landed two inches to the left of the center target. I could tell by the way her shoulders tensed and her lips thinned that she was upset with herself for not getting the center of the target. I couldn’t tell her it was a damn good shot for the first time and not to be upset. She wouldn’t have liked those words anyways. She thrived in trying to improve herself and she would only use this to drive her along.

 

I saw her make the minutest of changes to her sighting and posture as she fired again. By her third shot she had reached the center circle and by the fifth, she had reached the center of the center. I stayed there for all of that and when she made the bullseye I placed my hand on the small of her back briefly, without thought, before I realized it and moved off.

 

I was back to barking out orders and observing others as I went but I heard the snide words drift to me from Peter, the Candor she had pushed from the train, beside her.

 

“Well, it looks like at least one of the stiffs isn’t afraid to use sex to get her way.” He said in a drawling voice that set my nerves and anger on edge.

 

My eyes bored into him but Kat never responded. She did, however, look down to the target he was shooting and a smirk crossed her face. He was still way outside of the center area even though he was hitting the target in general. It took him several tries to even get that at first.

 

Her dismissive look seemed to be her response as she moved her eyes to her own target again and began to fire as fast as she could get them off while still maintaining the proper aim and stance. Her shots hit the center every time and my smirk widened. She might not be verbally responding but she was responding in the best way possible. He was questioning her skill, so she responded with that skill to prove his words as lies. For a Candor that was the worst rebuff, she could have given.

 

Watching the exchange reminded me of Chase’s words. I would keep an eye on the little shit but I was already brewing an idea to keep him in line. After that, I kept my distance as much as possible from her. As soon as lunch was called, though, I had motioned her with my head to let her know she needed to stay behind.


	8. That's What You Get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was a promising start to the friendship between Kat and Eric hits a major hurdle when some of her past relationship with Four is guessed by Eric. Will he let his hate for his rival taint what he has begun to feel for Kat?

**Chapter 8 - That’s What You Get**

**_Kat_ **

__

“Kat, you have been dismissed for lunch. Maybe you should join the others today. And where were you this morning? I didn’t see you at breakfast and you weren’t in your bunk. None of the others even remember you getting up or leaving.” Four had practically stormed up to me where I was breaking down my gun at the table full of the ones used today.

 

They were the first words he had even tried to say to me today but I had felt his glares and anger from the moment I walked into the training room, slightly behind Eric this morning.

 

I refused to look at him but instead gripped the gun in my hands tighter as I was quickly disassembling it. Eric had motioned me to stay so I was using this as the pretense of why I was staying behind.

 

“Sir, I plan on having lunch as soon as I have broken down these guns. I thank you for the suggestion of joining the other transfers but I am not sure where I sit is your business…. _Four_. I believe that there are no rules about being up as early as I like to get to know my new faction. I broke no rules and couldn’t sleep anyways.” I stop and finally look to him, my eyes taking on an angry glare. “Maybe you should show this same level of concern and worry about your recruit that can’t seem to keep his sobbing to at least a low decibel level that would allow all others to get much-needed rest.”

 

I finished this last bit with a huff, knowing I was walking a dangerous line. I was trying with everything I had to keep myself respectful and not go personal but he just wasn’t doing the same thing. I stopped breaking the guns down and turned to face him fully when I realized my hands were flying over the breakdown and I was trying to draw it out.

 

Four quirked his eye and shook his head. “First, watch your tone with me Initiate.” His tone went soft and quiet as he held my eyes for a moment. Then he sighed and continued. I knew there was worry behind this all but he lost all right to that long ago. “It isn’t a good idea to go wandering around the compound at any time, Kat. Stick with Tris. I thought you would want to make sure she was doing ok here. Do you plan to just abandon her?”

 

Anger started to course through me when he brought my sister into this conversation. Using guilt to try and manipulate me? How fucking like his father! I was about to launch into telling him just that when I realized that Eric had moved to stand beside me.

 

“Four, don’t you have something you should be doing right now? This initiate is breaking down the guns as _I_ requested. I will make sure she makes it to the dining hall if you are so worried about her losing her way.” Eric’s tone was the same he had used on Four in the dining hall yesterday. I could feel the animosity between the two then and now with no one around, it was thick in the air.

 

Four never took his eyes off of me when Eric had come closer. His lips thinned though and went even tighter when he saw the look of amusement flitter across my face before I could bring it back. “We will be talking later, Kat.” He ground out lowly before his eyes moved to Eric.

 

They stood here exchanging glares before Four finally huffed and walked off to the stairs that led back to the training room. I growled as I heard the door slam and rolled my eyes before I turned back to breaking down the guns. A hand stopped me on the last one and I turned my eyes to meet Eric’s.

 

He had a scowl on his face but I couldn’t place what might have caused it. “Do I need to worry about something with you and _Four_?” It came out snarled and deadly, causing my eyes to widen slightly.

 

I couldn’t understand what he was meaning and my forehead furrowed in a frown of confusion. “I am not sure what you mean Sir…” I had started to speak but Eric moved in closer and interrupted me.

 

“Kat….” He started to speak but then stopped suddenly. His scowl softened as he looked at me. “I would like if you called me Eric, not Sir.” His tone was still demanding but I think that was just Eric. I don’t know that he knew any other inflections to use. It was also, warm, in the demand, as if I truly did have the option.

 

I smiled shyly as I nodded. I knew this wasn’t exactly proper but Four does have us call him by his own name. “Eric then.”

 

He gave me a sideways grin but then that went away quickly and a frown crossed his face. “Is there something going on or was there something between you and Four?”

 

I shook my head after a brief tilt of it as I thought of how to respond. “There was never anything romantic going on. I guess it would be stupid to deny that I knew him from before transfer. I am sure he doesn’t want it known. We were friends and after he transferred he did come to see me as I was out and about the sectors. On my side, there was never anything but friendship.”

 

“But on his side, there was more?” Eric’s eyes seemed to blaze with a blue intensity I didn’t understand and this time the demanding tone was anything but soft, it was angry.

 

I shrugged and frowned at him. “I don’t know if there was or not but I think he thought at one point there was or should be. I quickly relieved him of that notion though.”

 

I watched as rage, pure and blood-chilling rage, along with hate passed over Eric’s face. There was also a look of disgust and loathing that flashed through as he looked at me. That, not the rage, had me looking away from him and then moving to finish my task. My hands flew to break down the last gun and I put it down softly.

 

“Was there anything else that you need help with?” I asked softly but still not looking at Eric. Hurt radiated through me, making my stomach churn and eyes sting. I couldn't let it show though.

 

He didn’t answer for a few minutes but I heard him taking long slow breaths. “No Kat. I was going to head to lunch too. Were you wanting to join your sister?”

 

He moved closer to me as he said this and I raised my eyes to meet his. I was feeling hurt at the disgust that I didn’t understand. I was feeling upset at myself for feeling hurt when I shouldn’t. He is still my instructor and I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

 

When I looked back to him, all that had been clear on his face was gone. I did see a brief flash of regret when our eyes met. I dismissed that because I didn’t understand what that meant and I would rather not try to figure it out. What if he regretted having been friendly with me at all?

 

I shook my head and looked away again. “Not unless she has suddenly decided not to stick with the two Candor transfers. I am sure Uri, Lynn, and Mar will be looking for me though.”

 

Eric gave a brief nod. “I will walk you to the dining hall then.”

 

I didn’t have to fake my expression like I did this morning as I walked with Eric. This time I didn’t have to fight myself to keep just slightly behind him. I did all of this automatically because of how I was feeling. It isn’t like I haven’t had someone look at me like that before. I have gotten looks like that all my life just because I wore grey. It isn’t like I hadn’t prepared myself to get those very same looks here because I had previously worn grey.

 

So why was that look on Eric’s face like a knife to my gut? The better question was why I had allowed myself to connect, or at least I had thought I had, to him at all. I knew going into Dauntless his reputation. Knew of his attitude and temperament. So what had all of this morning been for him and why? Maybe it was just a big game for him. Another way to try and break the weak stiff and prove she doesn't belong here.

 

What hurt was that there was a voice screaming at me for being an idiot in thinking that and another screaming that I would be an idiot to not believe it.

 

We didn’t talk the entire walk to the dining hall. When we got there I moved quickly away from him and to my friends. They were at the same table as the day before. So were Chase and Zach. I was pretty sure that Eric would be joining them as well.

 

Unlike yesterday or this morning, he didn’t engage me in conversation and I didn’t try and engage him either. Lunch started out a little tense for me but it was almost impossible to stay that way with Uriah, Zeke, and Chase at the same table. Before the end of it, I was laughing along with the others and joining in conversations.

 

When it ended though, and it was time to head to the training room, apprehension took over me instead of hurt. I didn’t know how what happened on the roof was going to affect training with Four or Eric.

 

_Girl, what have you gotten yourself into_?

 

I fell in step with Tris and the others after my friends and split off.

 

“The prodigal sister returns to the fold!” Will said with a cheeky smile at me and a wink.

 

I started to laugh but stopped when I caught the glare and scoff from Christina. I started to say something back to her but Tris linked her arm with mine.

 

“What happened you this morning?” She leaned in and asked me quietly.

 

I sighed and shrugged. “I honestly couldn’t sleep. Laying in bed seemed pointless so I got up and went for a run then explored a few things.”

 

Christina was eyeing me closely and I know she was looking for me to lie. Her lips thinned at my answer because there was no lie there. I smirked a little bit as Tris nodded beside me. All of that was true. What I had explored wasn’t a place but that didn’t need to be said. I still didn’t know what to make of this morning or this afternoon and I knew I would need the time to sort through my thoughts on that.

 

“I was thinking of starting to run in the mornings.” She said while chewing her lip a little.

 

“It might not be a bad idea, Tris. As well as getting in more training when you can. We both know how everyone else is looking at us.” I said as quietly as I could.

 

She nodded and sighed sadly as we made our way into the training room. We would start the physical portion of learning how to fight today. I kept my head down and kept to not letting everything show as I worked the bags and did exactly what Four had been showing us and only what he had shown us.

 

Eric had been nowhere in sight and for some reason, I wasn’t as relieved as I thought I might be or as I should be. I knew in that moment that whatever I was starting to feel for the leader needed to stop. It was clear there would be nothing on his part and I didn’t like the feeling of hurt that inspired in me.

 

Four kept his eyes on either Tris or me often. When he would make his way over to adjust her and lingered, I hoped that I was the only one that noticed. I realized by the end of the day that along with my worries about Tris and my hurt about Eric, I now had to worry about the shadow I developed.

 

He never said anything he was just always there, lurking, and when I glanced to him he would sneer but it didn’t reach his eyes. No in his eyes there was something else that I couldn't exactly determine but one thing was clear in them, curiosity. That disturbed me more than his hate or scorn might have.

 

_Please lord, don’t let me have caught the eye of Peter Hayes!_

 

 

* * *

 

__

**_ Eric _ **

 

“You going to tell me what the hell happened?” Chase demanded of me as we walked to the training room that the Dauntless-born were using. I was already scheduled to make an appearance there for the second half of the day and I didn’t know if I was happy about the reprieve or not.

 

My face was impassive as we walked and at first, I ignored the question, knowing exactly what Chase was referring to. It wasn’t hard to know that he would have noticed how Kat was at lunch. How upset and crushed she had looked for the majority of the meal. How I avoided looking her way and she did the same with me.

 

I can’t believe how bad I have already fucked things up. Not even here a day and I have already screwed things. I can’t look at her now without feeling guilty as hell for my reaction after I had figured out that fucking Four was the person that she was talking about during that first lunch. The one that had been her first kiss.

 

It shouldn’t have been something I got upset at her about at all. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did or at the very least not let it show. It hadn’t been my rage that had her moving away from me in hurt. No, that she had barely blinked at. It had been when I showed the disgust and loathing that flashed inside of me as images of her and Four bombarded me as soon as I looked at her.

 

“I will ask you again, Eric. What. The. Fuck...happened with you and Kat?” Chase said and stopped me right in the middle of the corridor before we got to the training room.

 

My lips thinned and I looked around. “It was Four.” I blurt out in frustration and anger then watch as Chase’s forehead furrows in confusion.

 

“It was Four that got her so upset?” Chase asked disbelievingly.

 

I shook my head in denial, feeling flustered in all my emotions. “No..I mean, yes. He upset her on the roof when he confronted her and was being even more of a dick than usual. That isn’t what I am talking about. It was Four….her first kiss...was fucking Four.” I spit out. The rage and hate rushed right back to the surface.

 

Chase stood stunned for a minute but then sighed and nodded. “I knew there was something up with the two of them. I just thought they knew each other and she didn’t like him much.”

 

My shoulders fell a little and I rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t think she does like him very much really,” I admit and feel even more like shit for my reaction.

 

Chase groans and then shakes his head as he is putting things together. “How bad was it?”

 

“It wasn’t pretty. I blew up at her but she didn’t even blink about the anger. It was when I…..” I couldn’t even say it without feeling a knife twisting in my stomach “I might have reacted like I was disgusted with her. Maybe even that I….I hated her.”

 

I had been looking away from Chase so I didn’t see his reaction. When I did, I took a slight step back at the pure anger towards me he had plainly written on his face. “Well, then I think you have some making up to do or you can walk away. Because if that is the case then Four isn’t going to just let things slide with you and Kat. It will only get worse and anytime he pulls his little stunts Kat is going to be in the middle of the two of you. If she gets hurt again because of either of you….it won't be pretty if I find out.”

 

He doesn’t wait for my response before he turns and slams into the training room. It was going to be a sucky day for the Dauntless-born with how he automatically started to bark out orders. I followed in and stood back to observe, giving him his room and allowing myself time to think.

 

He wasn’t wrong. Four was going to be a problem even before I made the connection about their involvement. Four was protective of female initiates generally. He went too soft on them in my opinion and always had. Kat was from Abnegation and that would make Four all the more protective of her and her sister. That there was a previous romantic connection, it was going to raise tensions even without a hint of my own interest in Kat.

 

Did I want to stir that up even more than it would be already? If word got back to the other leader’s, or heaven forbid fucking Jeanine got wind of anything, then I would have hell to pay. On the other hand, I was told to keep an eye on things so I could always use that as an excuse. The problem was that I didn’t want to use that as a cover. It made me sick to my stomach to even think of the reason that would be a cover to use in the first place.

 

_If you don’t, you know she will just have someone else do it in place of you._

 

She would too and I couldn’t guarantee who it would be or that I could do anything about….anything...if she demanded them both.

 

“You made your decision yet?” Chase asked me quietly after he had come up beside me without me even being aware.

 

I blinked and looked over to him. My decision? I don’t know that there ever really was a decision. Just a lot of excuses to try and veer me from a course I didn’t want to veer from.

 

“There never was one to make, man. I just don’t know how to make it up to her.” I replied truthfully and with a shrug.

 

Chase shook his head and shrugged. “I am guessing honesty is the best policy here. Or at least a little bit of honesty. You aren’t going to be able to hide your hate for Four. He isn’t going to hide his for you. It might be better to prepare her.”

 

He had a point and I resolved to try and get her alone tonight after dinner or at the very least in the morning when I knew she was going to be training. To let her know that Four and I had a history that wasn’t always great. That it got the better of me at times but that he didn’t help in his behavior towards me either.

 

Before training could even finish I knew finding Kat wouldn’t be happening. I had been summoned to Erudite. It wouldn’t be for another week and a half that I would even have the opportunity to glimpse Kat and by then my mind and emotions were a mess.

 

Turns out that Kat wasn’t the one with the strange aptitude test, but what happened in her test was enough to give Jeanine any excuse to want her as well. They wanted both of them under observation, close observation. Then when or if they made initiation and the time came, we were to hand them over.

 

I had my orders, the question was, what was I going to do about them?


	9. With or Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over a week has gone by with no contact between Kat and Eric but training is in full swing. Despite her bruised heart and confused feelings, Kat tries to keep her head in the game. Fights are starting. Who will the sisters be paired against and how will their first real taste of Dauntless go?

**Chapter 9 - With or Without You**

 

 

**_Kat_ **

 

I plopped into my seat at lunch in a huff. My friends all looked at me in concern the instant I slammed down my tray as well.

 

It was silent for a moment before Lynn broke it, her tone worried. “What’s up?”

 

I couldn’t even answer her or the question really. It was everything going on in my mind and in my life at the moment that had me feeling like my patience and anger was being stretched thin.

 

I still hadn’t seen Eric since after lunch over a week ago. I had almost hoped that first morning after I drug my tired ass from bed to the training room that he would show up. He hadn’t. He still hadn’t made an appearance in training so far for the last week and a half either.

 

I was angry with myself for being angry that he wasn’t there. He was a leader and probably had many other things to do then be hanging around an initiate. I got that, I didn’t like the thought, but I got it.

 

As always I had come into lunch and seeing only Chase and Zach there let me know I wouldn’t even be able to sneak looks at him during that time. He hadn’t been at dinner or at the Pit for any of that time. I was beyond frustrated with myself for feeling any kind of way about any of that.

 

Then there was dealing with the others in my training group. Molly, Drew, and Peter were the worst of the culprits but honestly, Al and Christina weren’t that far behind them either. I wanted to be around my sister more but she was just so damn loyal and refused to abandon the others.

 

Peter hadn’t stopped shadowing me, to the point where he was always right there. Sometimes he was taunting me but he seemed to target Tris more than me. During runs, he was always uncomfortably close even though I was purposely hanging back with Tris.

 

Last night in the Pit he had broken away from his goons and I saw him everywhere I went. He had spent a good hour hanging around the tattoo parlor when I was in there talking with Tori and Bud.

 

Bud must have sensed my unease at this because before I knew it I heard Peter screeching. Bud had insisted if he was going to hang out in there he needed to get something done. I don’t even want to know what the hell Bud talked Peter into getting that required him to have to go to a back room. Or why he was walking like he had a bowling ball between his legs. Suspicions were enough.

 

Not to mention Tris had remarked that it was _Peter_ who had confronted _Four_ that first morning when he went to wake everyone up about where I was and was that allowed. Apparently, Peter had asked what kind of trainer he was if he couldn't keep track of one little girl.

 

The last thing that had me feeling pissed and about to snap was the glimpse I got of the board in the training room. The one that Four had just listed who each of us would go against in our fights when we came back from lunch.

 

The space beside my name had me going against Mayra. The space beside Tris’ name had her going against...no one. She would be sitting it out and I might as well be. Granted there was an odd number of us so someone was bound to sit out but he had chosen Tris.

 

He was allowing his personal feelings to interfere with our training. He might think he is helping but he isn’t. He is making this worse for us. He is making it look like even our damn instructors think the little Abnegation girls can’t handle things. Like he has already written us off!

 

Christina had thrown a jealous look in Tris direction behind her back when she saw that Tris was sitting out. Granted, Christina didn’t have room to be upset. She was matched against another girl, Sally, an Erudite who honestly wasn’t much better than Mayra. Her look though was enough to make my temper just that much more strained.

 

I couldn’t say even half of what was pissing me off but I could at least grumble about the fight match ups.

 

I stabbed my knife into the lump of meat that was apparently meatloaf with a scowl on my face. “Fucking fights….that’s what's up.”

 

Uri shrugs and looks confused. “I would have thought you were looking forward to them, Kat.”

 

“I would be if I was being put against anyone that it wouldn’t be a joke going against. Hell, I would even take the farm boy. But no...who do I get? Mayra….who I am sure the only reason she is here at all is that she is glued to her boyfriend’s ass.” I shovel a mouthful of the meat into my mouth and grimace. It needs something to make it at least a little palatable.

 

Chase smirks at me and holds out a bowl of something red. Ketchup will work. I practically slather the lump of meat with the contents of the entire bowl, causing my friends to laugh. I take another bite and then shrug with a smile to Chase. It does make it better.

 

“Not all of your fights can be against someone of your level, Kat,” Chase answers my gripe with his head tilted. While his tone isn’t what I would say is in his ‘instructor mode’ it is close.

 

“I get that, really I do. I know that some of them are going to be at least evenly matched or hopefully they might be more advanced. It’s just that, Tris and I are already looked at like we aren’t going to make it. They are all looking at us to fail. With Four matching me against Mayra right out of the gate and then having Tris sit out….it looks like even our fucking _own_ Instructor doesn’t see us being able to hack it.”

 

Lynn scowls at this and I can see her getting upset for me. To her, that is an insult not only to me and Tris but to the entire process. Lynn is hard and had often said she thought the transfers were treated with kid gloves compared to Dauntless. I couldn’t disagree but transfers have had less time to train than Dauntless-born. There was such a disparity in levels between even the worst of the Dauntless-born compared to the best of the transfers, that it was ludicrous.

 

Chase and Zach shared some look but I could also tell that this upset Chase. Mar spoke up before I could try and pry them for their thoughts.

 

“I know that right now it is pissing you off, Kat. But you are much more ready to face something then Tris. Another day to prepare for fights won’t hurt her. Then tomorrow you both can show them they are all wrong.” Mar supplied with a soft but confident smile.

 

Uri threw his arm around her shoulders and smacked her cheek in a kiss before pulling back with his mega-watt smile. “She has a point. If you want, we can run some interference and get your sister away from the Candor’s tonight. Take her to the training room and work with her.”

 

A slow smile spread across my face as I nodded. My mood picked up. “I like that plan, Uri. Tonight we steal my sister away and hopefully bring her into our fold.”

 

“Lord help her. She should run now.” Lynn muttered lowly but I could see her lips tilted in a slight smile.

 

“If you want, I can stop in and see what advice I can offer.” Chase offered to the group but was looking at me with soft and concerned eyes.

 

I blushed a little and nodded. If he came then maybe Eric……

 

_NO!_

 

I mentally scowled at myself for where my thoughts were going. I couldn’t allow myself to think that way or hope for it. His look of disgust but also his clearly avoiding me let me know that wasn’t going to be happening. I shouldn’t accept Chase’s help but I did like and respect him.

 

Zach and Chase hadn't changed how they acted with me. Sometimes Chase would walk me to the training room in the morning after I had first gone to the dining hall to get coffee. Tris would come in halfway through my time and start her runs and own training, then we would go to breakfast together. She was getting better but was it enough?

 

Chase’s advice help my sister and we needed that badly.

 

“If you have the time that would be great. I completely understand if you have other things to…”

 

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to, Kat. After dinner, I will meet you all in the Dauntless-born training room.” Chase waved away my concerns.

 

Lunch passed quickly as we wolfed down the meal in between Uri and Zeke joking as well as play fighting with each other. Four came over to the table and sat down. As soon as he did, I decided I was done with my meal and bolted away. I couldn’t risk unloading on him in front of everyone. I had been very good about avoiding him outside of training.

 

I felt a pang of guilt when a hurt look flashed through his eyes. Then I remembered about Tris and him and the guilt went quickly away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

As expected the fight against Mayra had been a joke. It only took a few well-placed hits to her from me and she was down. I tried to make it fast so that I wasn’t hurting her more than necessary. I also tried not to show my disgust in how unsuited for Dauntless she was. I could tell by Four’s expression that I wasn’t fully successful in this. He looked angry and disappointed in me.

 

He could suck my….

 

Just….I didn’t think he had any room to be disappointed with me in this scenario but he was always so quick to judge others based on how he thought they should act. That was one of our biggest source of arguments over the course of our friendship. I didn’t know that would ever change.

 

I went to join Tris to watch the others after my fight.

 

“Tris, tonight after dinner, I have a way to get you more training. And some people to help. But…” I stop with a sigh as I look to her.

 

She bites on her bottom lip and looks to where Christina is standing with Al to the side of the room. She was talking to him after he had knocked Will out during their fight. He hadn’t handled himself well during the fight or after Will went unconscious. There had been some confusion when Four had contradicted another Leader that had stopped in during the fights. Four had said that we could concede but then the leader, James, had said that there would be no conceding. We were to fight until one of us couldn’t fight anymore. 

 

“You don’t want me to bring Christina.” She finished for me.

 

I nod. “Look, I don’t know why Four matched us like he did but it isn’t helping how things look. There is one advantage to this though. It gives us both another day to get in training and come at this tomorrow. I got to show a little today but I wouldn’t call my match a victory. Tomorrow you are going to have to show you aren’t weak or to be written off.”

 

She sighs and nods. “After dinner, I will join you. I think Christina and Will might like each other anyways and they might like some time to themselves.”

 

I wrinkled my nose at that thought. Will could do _so_ much better than Christina but I kept my mouth shut. Tris smirked at me and rolled her eyes. I let out a little laugh at her being able to read my expression.

 

“I really need to work on not letting everything show on my face,” I mumbled, causing her to laugh even more.

 

The sound drew attention, unwanted on all accounts for me. Christina and Al joined us and I was forced to sit there and listen to them bicker. I told myself I could use this as practice in schooling my features. I am sure I failed, often.

 

Peter had also decided that the wall near us needed holding up and I felt his attention on us by the prickles that spread across my back where I can only speculate his eyes were during those times.

 

God, the day could not end soon enough.

 


	10. Sister, I See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost two weeks into training finds the Prior girls trying to establish themselves among the ranks but odds seem to be stacked against them. Determined to prove everyone wrong and they do belong in Dauntless, the girls accept help to improve while Tris accepts the invitation to spend time with and join her sister and friends. The two also start to regain what was once lost. Piercings, Tattoos, Blood, and Sweat....it's all in a days work.

**Chapter 10 - Sister, I See You**

**_Kat_ **

 

Tris was turning red as we walked to the training room. I just told her why I thought Peter looked like he was constantly sucking on lemons since last night. It was leaving her speechless and red.

 

“Guys do that? I mean….get piercings there?” She gasped out when she finally got her breath back.

 

I bit my lip to keep from laughing, but I had to admit I was turning pretty damn red myself. “Apparently they do but it’s not just the guys. Girls get piercings in….you know...their princess parts.”

 

I could tell Tris was torn between mortification and laughter until the laughter won out. “Princess Parts?” She gasped out, bending over to hold her stomach, laughing and walking at the same time.

 

We had also been walking through the Pit at the same time so her not so quiet exclamation had a few heads turning our way and my blush deepening.

 

“Well, what else do you want me to call it?” I smiled as I started to try and come up with other names. “Nether regions? Cave of wonders? The Abyss? Oh! I know!” I get a wicked grin as I look at her and she groans. “How about….” She slaps a hand over my mouth and shakes her head, eyes wide and red as a beet.

 

“Princess parts works. No need to go any further down that train of thought you just boarded.” She is almost begging me to let it go.

 

I laugh into her hand and nod, my eyes glittering with amusement. It is strange to be able to act like this with my sister. Once we hadn’t hesitated to joke or show affection. Then after the incident, everything changed. I hadn’t realized how much I missed this and her.

 

She pulls her hand away and smiles widely at me. “Come on, let’s get to the training room.” She grabs my hand then is the one pulling me along as we race towards the training room.

 

When we burst into the training room, still laughing, we find Chase leaning against a wall with his tablet phone out and the others in various states across the training room.

 

Uri perks up at the sound of laughter and smiles on our faces. He has never been one to handle being left out of fun or jokes well. “What’s so funny? What did I miss?”

 

“Nothing!” Tris and I yell at the same time then look at each other before bursting into laughter again, turning red.

 

“Aww, come on! That isn’t the look of nothing.” Uri pouts as he walks over.

 

“Nothing we want to or can relay, Uri. Drop it.” I command him, still red from laughter and embarrassment.

 

“Two former stiffs red as hell. Has to be something to do with s.e.x.” Lynn smirks over at us as she walks closer, spinning a knife in her hand.

 

“You would be wrong. It had nothing to do with the act of sex.” I reply truthfully before moving to change the subject. “So what do we want to do first?”

 

Chase had looked up from his phone and was holding in laughter apparently, judging by the way his eyes were crinkled on the sides as he was squinting and the twitching of his lips. I shot him a pleading look for him to intervene, causing him to chuckle and push away from the wall.

 

“You can start by running laps.” His grin is wicked at all of our groans. “Hey, I don’t have to be here. Do what I say, or this ends now.”

 

Knowing he is spending his off time here helping my sister when he could be out partying or hanging out with his friends straightens me up. I grab Tris’ hand and pull her along. Tonight is going to be hell but it will be worth it come the morning. At least, that’s what I try and tell myself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tris and I lay panting on the ground, dripping in sweat. Sprawled out next to us are Uri, Mar, and Lynn in similar states as we all take a breather from the torture session we just endured. A much harder one than we have been subjected to so far under Four’s instruction.

 

Tris might not be able to breathe at the moment and looks ready to pass out, but Tris is also wearing a smile while doing it. She did really good during the training. Having Chase there helped, of course, but I think Lynn helped the most. Lynn could not and would not show Tris slack. So, when Chase paired her to spar against Tris, she didn’t pull punches much if at all.

 

At first, it hurt, seeing my sister take so many hits. Seeing her blood when Lynn made a punch connect to her lip, causing it to split open had me seeing red. I barely restrained myself from dashing into the middle of them and tossing Lynn off her then going at my friend myself. I didn’t realize I was showing that so much until I felt Chase’s hand connect with my shoulder as he held me in place and to stop my agitated bouncing.

 

His look was of understanding but also that of command with not an ounce of give for the fact that it was someone I care about out there fighting. He was telling me without words that I needed to let her do this. I could only nod my understanding and watch the two again.

 

Tris was much tougher than she looked but she had always been like that at least personality wise. People had always underestimated her because of where we came from.

 

I can admit that these past few years, I have made the same mistake. Maybe that was because of everything I have gone through and the fear that she would be subjected to the same thing. I know I for sure have never wanted her to experience what I have and that made me look at her differently. The last few years of us growing apart hadn’t helped any, that is for sure.

 

Seeing her now is making me remember when we were younger. I might have been the instigator more times than not, but Tris was by no means left behind on our adventures. I can remember there were times when she was the first to pick something up and replicate it correctly when we were off doing things in secret that the faction wouldn’t have approved of. There were the times we had snuck into the school and watching the after-school activities and programs that some of the other factions took part in.

 

Our favorite was when the gym became the epicenter for all kinds of gymnastics. Erudite mainly made up the dependents we would see involved in these but there was the occasional Dauntless there too.

 

We couldn’t try out things we saw that required equipment, but it didn’t stop of us from trying to mimic anything that didn’t require that kind of thing.

 

We didn’t realize the danger of going off alone to some abandoned building to practice this stuff on our own, and if we had some idea, I don’t think we really cared. We wanted to learn what we could and get stronger.

 

The feeling from those days spent together like that is flooding me again, making me feel sadness for all that time lost and all the resentful feelings between then and now.

 

I had shaken it off to resume training, but the feeling still lingered in me even now we are done.

It’s clear that she has been trying to train before coming here too. It makes me think that maybe Four did help her out as much as he could or was willing to before she chose Dauntless; despite his attempts to talk her out of coming here.

 

I let my feelings about Four’s influence on my sister and hurt at their involvement cloud my knowing that she belongs here just as much as me or anyone else. I resolve that I will no longer let Four or anyone else come between me and Tris again.

 

That was going to be hard to keep when the biggest person that would get in the way of growing close to my sister again would be me and my past. That was especially true because of my past involving the man she is now in a secret relationship with. I would need to find a way to tell her about that at some point. But not now, that would wait until we were both members.

 

I don’t want her to lose focus right now, but I also don’t want to lose what is so fragile between us right now either.

 

When we had all caught our breath Tris looked over to me, still smiling. “Kat, would you do me a favor?”

 

I licked my lips and nodded but with the thought that a big bottle of water sounded fantastic about now. “If it involves getting water in my system, then count me in.”

 

She chuckled and shook her head. “That does sound wonderful, but not what I had in mind.”

 

“Well, you guys getting water sounds like something you all need. We are done for the night. Go grab some water before you need to head to the dorms.” Chase ordered. He was on his phone again and threw a wave at us as he walked out of the training room without another word.

 

Tris groaned a little after Lynn popped up to put a hand down to help her up.

 

“What’s the favor?” I ask following their lead and getting up myself, wincing a little at how disgusting and sweaty I am at the moment.

 

“I want to get a tattoo….together,” Tris said shyly to me. Her request surprised me a little. I guess it showed on my face and she shrugged in response before continuing on.

 

“I wanted to get something. I just didn’t know what. I was in there looking the other day and I found something. You don’t have to get the same thing, but...I would like it if you did.”

 

I could tell by her tone and look that the feelings I had earlier, of missing this ease with each other and closeness, she was feeling it too.

 

I smiled and linked my arm with hers. “I would love to, Tris. I am sure Tori or Bud wouldn’t even mind working on us at the same time either if you wanted.”

 

She beamed as we walked along to the Pit. My friends all shared excited smiles, but Mar was struck by inspiration and started chattering about dragging Tris to the shops too. I could tell that they were making it a point to welcome her into the group. By her smile, even with the slight look of alarm at the mention of shopping, I could tell this made Tris happy as well.

 

 

* * *

      

 

Bud was just starting to clean the area where I had gotten the tattoo Tris and I had both agreed on when Tris finished with hers. I smiled at her when she looked over, a little pale from the process, and smiled back at me.

 

“Do you like it?” Tris asked uncertainly.

 

“I was waiting for you to finish before we go look at them together,” I reply with a soft chuckle.

 

She impatiently waits for Tori to finish cleaning hers up, then leaps up from the chair and drags me to the mirror with her. We stand side by side, looking at our reflections and the new ink along our collar bones.

 

The tattoo is a simple design really.

 

It is a simple feather with a long stem, all done in delicate black lines. The stem is broken up by the phrase ‘ _alis volat propriis’_. Which means ‘ _she flies with her own wings_ ’. The words are done in a flowing script.

 

The feather part of the design has a twist to it. The tip of the feather looks like parts of it are breaking off or disintegrating breaking off, but from this, the shape of four ravens emerge. Two are smaller and flying higher while two are larger and flying towards the heart. They represent our family. Our parents are the larger birds flying to where we will always hold them, our hearts, while the birds representing us are flying away on our own.

 

She looks at me questioningly. Wondering now that we are looking at the tattoos side by side if I like what she picked out. I added my own touch with the words to summarize the feeling we were going for with the tattoo, but otherwise, the design had been all Tris. She was the one to ask Bud and Tori if they could incorporate the idea of the birds coming from the feather itself and even describing the effect of the feather breaking apart to form them.

 

“I love it, Tris. It’s just…” I pause as the words catch in my throat, “…perfect.” I finally finish with a smile.

 

We pull on our shirts after getting instructions from the two artists on aftercare while our friends get their first looks and give us their approval. Mar and Lynn throw their arms around us, smiling and laughing as they drag us out of the parlor and to the shops.

 

We only have an hour or so before lights out and they are determined to get Tris all new stuff before tomorrow.

 

I can only laugh at her pleading looks at times because I was _just_ in her shoes. It seems like months ago, not just less than two weeks when we both first arrived.

 

It makes me realize how fast things move here and how quickly things can change. I wonder if that’s because this is Dauntless and is just a normal part of life here? Or do I feel that way because of the air of danger and menace that lies under all the raucous laughter, parties and acts of daring?

 

When we pass people in the Pit going back to the dorms, I see a certain look in their eyes as we pass them. The look feels like a warning that all those grizzled men and women are broadcasting just for us.

 

_Live it up now rookies because come tomorrow you could be gone._

 

I squeeze Tris’ hand as that thought runs through my head and resolve that we will prove them wrong. I will prove them all wrong, but mostly, I will make sure no one ever looks at me with the disgust that _he_ looked at me with.

 

Never again.

**Author's Note:**

> Eric Coulter: 24, Dauntless Leader, transferred from Erudite at 16. (Jai Courtney-original cast member)
> 
> Kat Prior, 20, Initiate, transferred from Abnegation at 20 (Chloe Grace Moretz)
> 
> Chase Oldham, 24, Dauntless Training Instructor/Intel Ops Officer, transferred from Candor at 16 (Liam Hemsworth)
> 
> Tris Prior, 20 (almost 21), Initiate, transferred from Abnegation at 20 (Shailene Woodley-original cast member)
> 
> Tobias ‘Four’ Eaton, 24, Dauntless Instructor/Control Room Officer, transferred from Abnegation at 16 (Theo James- original cast member)
> 
> Zach Godfrey, 25, Dauntless Legal Liaison Officer, transferred from Candor at 16 (Aaron Taylor-Johnson)
> 
> Zeke Pedrad, 24, Dauntless Intel/Control Ops Officer, Dauntless-born had choosing at 16 (Charles Michael Davis)
> 
> Uriah Pedrad, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Keiynan Lonsdale - original cast member)
> 
> Marlene Banks, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Suki Waterhouse-original cast member)
> 
> Lynn Morrison, 20, Initiate, Dauntless-born (Rosa Salazar-original cast member)
> 
> Shauna Morrison, 20, Nurse/Medic, Dauntless-born, had choosing at 16 (Jenna Coleman)
> 
> Max Cornell, 48, Dauntless Senior Leader, Dauntless-born had choosing at 16 (Idris Elba)
> 
> Christina Stevenson, 20, Initiate, transferred from Candor at 20 (Zoe Kravitz -original cast member)
> 
> Will Madsen, 20, Initiate, transferred from Erudite at 20, (Ben Lloyd-Hughes-original cast member)
> 
> Tori, 32, Dauntless Tattoo Artist, transferred from Erudite at 16 (Maggie Q-original cast member)
> 
> Bud, 44, Tattoo Shop Owner/Artist, Dauntless-born choosing at 16 (Sebastian Roche)
> 
> Raze, 38, Dauntless Leader, Dauntless-born had choosing at 16 (Michael Jai White)


End file.
